Last night I went to TV night. One of my friends told me how she's put on 16 pounds since Thanksgiving. Two other friends just got back from a vacation and are pretty horrified at looking at pictures from their trip and what the scale says. It's so hard this time of year and, in general, just in this culture.
I feel surrounded by overindulgence, decadence, and not really caring about health. It's a struggle just to maintain this week. I wonder when it's not going to be such a struggle anymore. I thought I was a little bit past it this year. I thought I had reached a new understanding with my body now that I've been maintaining under 130 pounds for so long. But it still can be very frustrating.
Especially when I'm surrounded in my social circle and in my culture by constant overindulgence. I want to eat Paleo and I want to eat clean but, other than blogs I read, and my husband, there is just no one else around me demonstrating that they really care about their bodies. It's hard to feel alone in this. It's hard to behave differently than everyone else.
So that's what I'm left with today. Just a bit of frustration. Wishing I had never been obese, never been eating disordered, and just had a healthy relationship with food.
Making this short today. I don't really want to think about food and weight and all that today.
Just going to live my day like I do every day. Try to do what's right for my body and my mind. Try to get out of this slightly negative mindset.
Namaste, my friends.