Last night I went to TV night. One of my friends told me how she's put on 16 pounds since Thanksgiving. Two other friends just got back from a vacation and are pretty horrified at looking at pictures from their trip and what the scale says. It's so hard this time of year and, in general, just in this culture.
I feel surrounded by overindulgence, decadence, and not really caring about health. It's a struggle just to maintain this week. I wonder when it's not going to be such a struggle anymore. I thought I was a little bit past it this year. I thought I had reached a new understanding with my body now that I've been maintaining under 130 pounds for so long. But it still can be very frustrating.
Especially when I'm surrounded in my social circle and in my culture by constant overindulgence. I want to eat Paleo and I want to eat clean but, other than blogs I read, and my husband, there is just no one else around me demonstrating that they really care about their bodies. It's hard to feel alone in this. It's hard to behave differently than everyone else.
So that's what I'm left with today. Just a bit of frustration. Wishing I had never been obese, never been eating disordered, and just had a healthy relationship with food.
Making this short today. I don't really want to think about food and weight and all that today.
Just going to live my day like I do every day. Try to do what's right for my body and my mind. Try to get out of this slightly negative mindset.
Namaste, my friends.
I TOTALLY get this Jeanette! I'm in exactly the same boat! When you feel more like thinking about it, please check out my post for today. Hang tough...this will be over in 2.5 weeks, then the WORLD will be trying to lose weight. LOL
ReplyDeleteHave you ever tried a Vinyasa yoga class? I find it preferable to Bikram but more challenging than Hatha. Adding a class or two a week to my regular workout routine has really helped me maintain my weight this holiday season. If you want more support, why not start a Paleo group on meetup.org? Your group could have dinners with Paleo-only food and exchange recipes, or plan social outings NOT based around food like yoga classes, hiking, indoor rock climbing, etc. Anyway I enjoy your blog. Sometimes I think you are too hard on yourself though! Being healthy is an admirable goal. But you are so much more than your appearance. Keep up the great work and I look forward to reading more of your entries :)
ReplyDeleteI love Vinyasa yoga - it's mostly the kind I do (and I did the classes when I could afford it!). My social group is, unfortunately, very very very focused on food (and not healthy food at all, really, especially this time of year). It is hard to change people's views who are already in their 30s and 40s! I love my friends so much, they are such sweet, good people... but I have been having to look outside the social group for activities lately!
DeleteIs it that they don't eat the same way as you do or are they totally unhealthy eaters? Not sure what you mean by not caring about their bodies, do they not work out and eat lots of processed food?
ReplyDeleteThey are totally unhealthy eaters and barely do physical activity (other than a small hike once or twice a year or skiing a couple times a winter)... lots of wine, tons of beer, treats every day, eating out almost every other day, lots of take out, etc. I'm not asking anyone to eat PALEO, not by far, by man, it would be nice if people around me weren't constantly eating and drinking as an activity!
DeleteNot quite the same thing, but I've had to accept that my lovely friends just are not into the same outdoors activities I am. So i often do those alone, and then meet up with friends for tje things they like to do. That way I get both my own workout and hanging with friends. I was frustrated for awhile but it is their life...all I can do is keep on my own track and try not to be annoying about it. They don't want to climb the mountain...okay, I will climb it and feel good about myself, then have the tolerance to hang out with people who drink a lot more than I do. I've just let go of wanting/thinking people should be like me. Even though they clearly should haha.
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