Monday, December 28, 2015

Christmas- family, eating, etc

Me and my little family travel to see my in-laws for the Christmas holiday. It's only about an hour and a half away, so not a huge journey, but we didn't really know what to expect with a one-month-old!

Things actually went really well, he slept the whole car ride both ways, so that was a blessing! And he didn't really seem to notice the change in scenery (we brought his pack and play that he sleeps in and his white noise machine) and we had some good nights and some bad nights, just like at home. Overall, it was nice to be with family and to have someone there to hold the baby so we could eat sometimes, haha :)

I didn't track my food for three days while there, and I regressed from the progress I had made previously. I ate a lot of sweets and indulged lots of cravings. I feel pretty bloated in overall not great, so I'm not gonna way myself for a while, forgive myself and get back into the swing of things at home.

I'm still healing from the C-section, I've been taking it easy for the past five or so days, because I had started to bleed a little too heavily after I resumed more walking and activity. I'm technically supposed to be on very limited activity till January 14, so I don't want to push it.

Life with a newborn is challenging, we are getting sleep some nights and not others. He cries a lot some days and not others. He's eating pretty constantly, leaving me not for you to do much else with my life! I'm emotionally pretty drained by it, but I do see him growing every day and I know that this is not life forever, so I'm just working on taking it day by day.

I'll leave you with some recent pictures <3

Saturday, December 19, 2015

Small Progress

So, despite some hard times (mainly dealing with sleeplessness and a screaming baby!), There has been a little bit of progress, as well.

Something that have been going well:

Feeding Hunter has been going better! Not so painful anymore.

Chris and I are figuring out a schedule that works for us for now. We are sharing baby duties at night so each of us at least gets a shot at sleeping a few hours straight every day!

I've managed to leave the house most days this week, whether just to run an errand, go on a walk, or even to socialize!

I went out without Chris or Hunter one night to see my friends for 3 hours, I left a pumped bottle for the baby and got to feel like myself for a few hours :-) 

I have lost 2 pounds, down to 146. I've been tracking my calories, and am eating over 2000 cal a day to keep my milk supply up. It will take many months at this pace to get my body back where I want it to be, but it's worth it to get back there and to keep my baby healthy at the same time.

So despite there being times where I wonder, what the hell am I doing, there are also times where I'm relatively pleased with how things are going! Ups and downs, for sure. There are days where I feel pretty crazy and completely incompetent, and days like today, where I feel pretty good about myself. I went on a 2.5 mile walk today, the farthest I've been able to walk since I gave birth. That was a good boost, even just to be outside for an hour!

All I am looking for is progress, not perfection. I want Hunter to grow big and strong, I want to find my way back to healthy eating, and I want our family to be happy! I know that it won't always go smoothly, but I think we can get there :-)

Tuesday, December 15, 2015


I started my first week with Hunter alone - it's super hard to do anything, even anything as simple as getting food to eat for myself, when it's just me and the baby. I'm pretty exhausted!

Nothing much is changed, however. Just taking care of Hunter and managing to survive myself, somehow. I'm dirty and tired and eating whatever food people have brought us, whether it's junk or healthy. My weight has held steady, however, which is a miracle considering how much crap I've been eating!

I haven't gone for a walk in a couple days, but I think it's actually been good, as my incision and midsection are feeling a lot less tender recently.

I'm trying my best to enjoy this time with my son. I will admit that it's very hard, though. Breast-feeding is not going as smoothly as I would like, though we are making progress every week, as he gets a little older and stronger and we fall into a pattern together. He doesn't sleep well at night, which is a struggle, of course. We're just surviving right now!

I can't believe that Christmas is next week! I haven't done anything really to prepare for it - no presents for anyone, I have to have Chris get on that for me! Especially since I think my brother is coming up this weekend to do a little mini Christmas because he's going to Florida on the actual holiday.

That's all that's up with me, really! Tired, overwhelmed and not doing too much :) 

Thursday, December 10, 2015

My mom body -_-

Things are going well with Hunter - we're learning every day, trying to figure out how best to feed him, how to get in some sleep, etc. It's super hard but I think going pretty well!

On the other hand, I'm having some body image freak outs. I purposely haven't looked at myself naked in the mirror since birth and finally did today. I knew my body shape would be different but I'm pretty dismayed at how it's changed. The mom pouch/hanging belly I've developed depresses me. I know I'll lose weight in the next months to year, especially as I re-adopt my eating and fitness habits. But I'm sad to know I'll probably never look how I used to (with a soft but mostly flat belly!) and I won't be fitting back into my clothes in a cute way (so many of my clothes were very form-fitting and will now highlight a droopy, chubby belly).

So that's the truth, just being honest about it. The sadness about the loss of my old body is there - but it is not detracting from the joy in the rest of my life, don't worry :) I just did not want to pretend that everything is completely hunky-dory over here!

I'm getting back to eating well. I decided to start tracking my food again, because I'm pretty sure I was over eating by thousands of calories a day, because I was so tired and so hungry and so stressed and so emotional. I'm not giving myself a goal or a limit on my calories, but just tracking food so that I am more thoughtful and not going crazy with sweets or junk food.

Fitness will come next year, once I'm cleared for more than just walking!

So that's where I am - facing the reality of my body, definitely bummed about it, but moving on and getting back to a focus on health so that I can feel better about myself :)

Sunday, December 6, 2015

First 2 weeks

Hunter will be two weeks old tomorrow. I am hoping that things start getting a little easier soon! People have told me that the first 2 to 3 weeks are the hardest. I sure hope that is true in this case. He wanted to be fed every hour yesterday, between that and the diaper changes it was nonstop. It is so weird to be so completely exhausted physically and mentally when I barely leave my room all day!

A friend brought us a huge tray of premade enchiladas yesterday. Looks like my lunches are taken care of for a while! One of my good friends is making us a Porkchop, sweet potato, and brussels sprout dinner tomorrow. The help is definitely nice. Otherwise, I'm eating a lot of sweets still. My hunger is absolutely out of control, especially yesterday when he was eating nonstop.

Parents always told me how hard having a newborn was. I thought I understood and sympathized, but I had no idea at all!

I went to Target and my local coffee shop with Hunter today, and that's about all the activity I had in my energy stores, Haha :)

Back in bed for the night, feeding him while watching television and napping when I can.

Friday, December 4, 2015

Post-birth healing

I went to my doctor's appointment and I'm healing really well - my incision looks really good. I'm obviously not cleared for much activity for the next 6 weeks (at almost 2 weeks) aside from the basics of having to lift the baby, etc. They said I could do light walking, even push a stroller, but nothing too hard like pushing that weight up a hill or anything.

So we took Hunter and Koda out for an easy stroll around the neighborhood:

It was nice to get out of the house and feel the fresh air. I'm glad it's been such a mild fall - it was almost 50 degrees yesterday.

I did weigh in, just to see where I'm at and with the understanding that I'm still healing and my body is going to continue to change over the next few weeks. I'm 149- so 17 pounds less than pre-birth. About what I expected!

Things have been up and down - adjusting to the new life is difficult. When he cries, it breaks my heart, especially if I can't seem to soothe him. Some nights we get decent sleep, some nights we don't. He's amazingly adorable but I won't lie and say it's all easy street!

So back to feeding him, eating, and laying in bed, haha :)

Wednesday, December 2, 2015

First few days at home..

I went home with Hunter on Friday. It was a tough weekend realizing the reality of life with a newborn! I was also still in a significant amount of pain from the C-section. We were kind of just holding on, and I cried a lot, too. 

I had been struggling with feeding him, which led to a lot of tears and frustration, because I just wanted to feed my crying baby! I went to a lactation consultant and she helped me quite a bit. So now he is finally getting fully fed and having a full belly! I am actually getting a decent amount of sleep, which is helping with my mental state :-) I was scared I was starting to get depressed because everything just seemed so hard and so overwhelming. Sleep makes a world of difference!

People brought us so much food, even full Thanksgiving dinner, so we haven't had to go grocery shopping at all since we've been home. However, not all of the food has been terribly healthy. I'll be a lot of pie and pizza in the past few days, haha. Not exactly how I wanted to start off my post-parting eating but I've just been looking for easy, truthfully. 

As the pain decreases and we get used to this new phase of life, I plan to get more involved with food shopping and prepping. Right now, I am just pleased to let people bring me food and not worry about it.

Also, I can see the beginnings of my body coming back. Not like it was, obviously, but I don't feel so humongous anymore. I am definitely having some body image issues as I look at some very specific trouble areas that have occurred because of this pregnancy though!!

I haven't weighed myself, but I'm going to my doctor tomorrow for a check up and they will weigh me then. So I'll see where I stand. My highest pregnancy weight was 166 pounds, I started my pregnancy and 126 pounds. A 40 pound gain - not the best, not the worst. 

I'll check in again soon!

Saturday, November 28, 2015

What a week -- birth!

I have NOT had the energy to update my blog about finally giving birth because it was an unexpected situation that landed me in the hospital all week.

First: the awesome stuff - I gave birth to a son, Hunter, on Monday night :)

And we are both very happy and healthy! So, really, nothing else matters!

But things didn't even remotely go as planned. I woke up at midnight/early Sunday morning with labor pains. They were far apart and irregular so I tried to get some sleep (though didn't get much). Later that morning, we grocery shopped, ate a nice breakfast, I showered, etc. I had planned to ride out most of my labor at home.

But then my water broke at noon and my doctor told me to go to the hospital. Do off we went and I spent the rest of Sunday working through contractions that were growing ever stronger and closer together.

I was still in labor on Monday morning, not too strange. Eventually my doctor checked my progress (they don't do that much when your water breaks to reduce infection) and I was 8 cm dilated! I was happy to hear that and soldiered on without an epidural, feeling like I was close so shouldn't bother. 

However, several hours later my contractions stayed about 2-3 minutes apart and at the same intensity and I hadn't dilated further. They eventually gave me pitocin to try and progress the labor (again worried because I had broken my water over 24 hours ago and that risks infection).

Around 6 PM on Monday I got an epidural because I was in so much pain for so long, I was exhausted. They hoped me relaxing would help get the baby further down. I was 9 cm at this point but couldn't seem to fully dilate.

Eventually a new midwife started her shift at 7 PM and checked me out - she felt the baby was in a bad position. She had an ultrasound done and saw the baby was face up and definitely not moving down the birth canal. After an hour of monitoring me with an internal contraction monitor- they saw that finally the pitocin was starting to distress the baby and my contractions were not getting anything done.

After consulting with my OB, and with me, no one felt like I was going to be able to give birth naturally.

So after over 40 hours of a pretty intense labor, I was getting prepped for a c-section.

The procedure went quickly and well (though I was beyond freaked out and couldn't stop my non paralyzed parts from trembling) and it was clear to them the baby WAS stuck in my pelvis in a bad position (they even had trouble getting him out through the surgery!). He was also 9 lb 14 oz and really crammed in there haha :)

I heard him cry, and I cried and my husband cried ... But they took my son to get cleaned up and alarms kept going off. Scary. They couldn't get his oxygen levels up because he had too much mucous in his lungs. They took him to the NICU before I even got to see him :(

I was given anti-anxiety meds in recovery because I was a mess. My adrenaline had been pumping for almost 2 days, I had had no sleep and I did NOT have my child with me!!

After a few hours, they took me up to the NICU on my stretcher to see him - he was gorgeous!! And doing a lot better but they were still keeping him till they were certain he was ok. It was a long night without him and I barely slept. My head was racing from the past 2 days, my body was destroyed from exhausting labor and surgery. I was sad to not have held my son on his birthday.

Then, at 8 AM on Tuesday morning, they brought him down to my room to stay! I got to hold him and oh... I was so in love.

The next few days were a blur of learning to take care of Hunter and trying to sleep :)

I stayed in the hospital till Friday morning, I was experiencing a lot of pain and having a hard time managing it. I was also struggling to breastfeed and none of us were sleeping well.

It felt like a lifetime in the hospital but also such a blur!!

I've absolutely fallen in love with Hunter, however, and it has made all the pain and distress and everything else just not really matter :)

We're figuring stuff out at home now. It feels surreal! I'm happy :) But also a little freaked out by everything that happened, I won't lie. It's hard to be recovering physically from the week - to not be able to do much for myself or Hunter. Chris has been truly amazing with taking care of us, I'd be lost without him!

So that's why you get the late update - I'm an exhausted mess of a human! But also a very happy, lucky new mom with a beautiful new baby :)

Saturday, November 21, 2015

Almost a week overdue

And no posts because pretty much my every thought revolves around the thought of "When will this baby be here?!" And that's pretty boring! So I haven't subjected you guys to several posts surrounding that theme:)

I'm pretty eager to meet this kid! 

If I don't go into labor this weekend, they're going to induce me early next week. I really hope to avoid needing pitocin but what needs to happen will.

I'm getting acupuncture today to try and get my body primed for labor and I hope it helps urge things along. Walked 10,000 steps yesterday, started this morning off with a 2 1/2 mile walk and ate a nice spicy Thai dinner last night!

But the baby is only going to come when it's ready, and I can't force it to happen this weekend, I just don't like the thought of forcing my body into labor with drugs. But I know at some point, the baby has to come out because it is just getting bigger every day and less likely that I'll be able to do this naturally. I'm just hoping for the best, doing what I can to get my body ready for labor, and will listen to my doctors and do what is best for both of us.

I'm also pretty tired of being pregnant. My belly is humongous, I can't move around so well, I tire so easily, and I want to get on the path to getting my normal body back (i'm not naïve enough to think I'm going to look like I did before I got pregnant, but I just want my strength and flexibility back most of all! I'm tired of not being able to bend down and clean or get up off the floor easily, things like that!)

So send me good vibes - I want to have this baby!!! :)

Monday, November 16, 2015

10 months pregnant photo

Haha :)

I'm still going to work, even though my due date was yesterday. As I mentioned before, I want to save my leave for when the baby is here. But, wow, holy uncomfortable! I'm still doing my walks through my breaks and my lunch, but sometimes cut them a little short. My strange new waddling stride sometimes hurts my knees and hips, or I have to get back to use the restroom :)

Otherwise feeling good, strong, all that :)

Sunday, November 15, 2015

Due Date

It's the morning of my due date ... I was sure hoping to be meeting my baby today, but based on how I feel, I think that's probably not going to happen!

It's such a strange feeling to be completely not in control of this situation! I love being in control :) But this has been a good life lesson... For the most part, I've just been accepting of all the changes in my body and my life, trying to go with the flow instead of fight it.

But! Oh, I am getting so eager to have this baby.

Also - I'm going to work till I do have this baby, because I technically can physically and everything, but, wow, I really don't want to. Financially, it's the best choice. Comfort-wise, not so much! But I'll keep plugging along. I don't want to use any of my leave time till the baby arrives, because that would mean less time off when baby does come.

So - send good labor type vibes that I do have this little one soon!! :)

Tuesday, November 10, 2015

Last minute things...

No baby yet! :)

I am so grateful that I do not have this dissertation to work on right now, this last week or so of being pregnant. I have incredible amounts of free time, especially because I'm not doing too much else due to how hugely pregnant I am, haha! I am resting a lot, enjoying my time alone with Chris, getting things ready for the baby, and just relaxing.

Chris and I are indulging our whims - going out for breakfast and dinner over the weekend, enjoying it just being easy right now. I'm also so, so, so hungry lately... I'll eat a full meal and feel quite hungry an hour later! I am making the effort to eat nutritious things, though, and not give in to the sugar addiction so that baby and I are as strong as possible for the upcoming birth!

Due date in 5 days - I wonder when this will all happen! Starting tomorrow I'm going to start amping up my walks (I've been doing more like 7000 steps a day lately) and eating spicy food, all those "this might not actually work to start labor, but it isn't going to hurt you" old wives' tales! Definitely no herbs or castor oil or anything (which I think just makes your bowels go crazy rather than starts labor- yuck).

I want to meet my little one :) 

In the mean time, I am really enjoying this quiet time. I'm feeling really rejuvenated (though still pretty tired - sleep has been hard).

I'll keep you updated!

Typical me this past weekend - pillows and kitty cuddles :)

Thursday, November 5, 2015

One goal hit ...

So, big goal hit. I submitted my dissertation draft to my advisor yesterday. Now, that doesn't really mean much except that I completed a full draft. I have a committee that is going to read it and send it back eventually with things to fix (and I am just praying it is nothing crazy - like more research or a complete re-haul of the whole paper!). But still. I did it!

When I found out I was pregnant, I made a promise to myself to finish up this part of my life and finish this paper (and hopefully graduate because of it!). I didn't know if it was possible... I had been exhausted my first trimester and third trimester. My second trimester saw a burst of energy where I did the majority of the hard work.

I've been dedicating all of my energy to this - all my thought and time. When I really get motivated, I really get motivated! In all aspects of life whether it is school or health and fitness or anything else! Gives me hope that I will be able to lose this baby weight when the time comes :)

You might be hearing from me more - I hope to document a little bit of how this pregnancy has gone, the HUGE changes my eating has gone through (not so great), and what I hope to change in the coming weeks.

I am 10 days out from my due date and getting very excited :)  I am also very, very pleased I get to enjoy the last few days of this pregnancy without rushing home after work to work on my dissertation! I am going to relax and enjoy fully <3

Monday, October 26, 2015

Getting close!

I'm 2 1/2 weeks from my due date! Wow. I'm slowing down a lot - averaging 7000 steps a day. My belly is just so heavy, I'm
uncomfortable walking for long. And need frequent bathroom stops!

I'm formatting and putting final touches on the first draft of my dissertation - standing at 386 pages as of tonight! Going to put in a lot of hours this week/weekend and hope baby stays in till then :) Baby hasn't dropped yet, so I hope I have time!

Had my brother's wedding this weekend. Was so glad I was able to make it! Months ago, I was unsure how it would all play out.

Making life progress and looking forward to a new phase to start! 


Wednesday, October 21, 2015

Finally- bridesmaid pic!

Took a while but some wedding photos from August have finally started coming in- here's my favorite so far:

Things are going well - working like a fiend! Ready to drop. Sure want to see the end of this dissertation someday!!

Tuesday, October 13, 2015

35 weeks!

Got heartburn for the first time in my life this week, yikes! Managing by eating smaller meals, sipping my water more slowly, staying propped up and TUMS! It's been manageable but ever-present for three days, ah well.

Doing well otherwise! Sorry for being so quiet but I'm getting closer to finishing my dissertation and that's where my writing energy is going.

Here's me at 35 weeks, feeling pretty darn good:

Hoping baby stays put for at least 3 more weeks, hopefully for the full 5!! But who knows :) Going to keep plugging away at my schoolwork regardless. Everything is ready for baby, though - room is finished, supplies stocked, car seat secured, etc.

Eating a lot lately - I'm ravenous!! But gaining pretty much as expected, around a pound a week :)

Back to work <3

Friday, October 2, 2015

Having fun getting ready!!

I'm loving nothing better than nesting right now!! Lots of prepping for practical baby needs and also lots of indulging my need for cuteness!!

Most of my spare time is being spent on schoolwork though - forgive my absence! <3

Sunday, September 27, 2015

Baby Shower!

I had a super lovely shower on a perfect autumn day - my family threw it, the decorations and food were awesome! Lots of friends came, too, and I had fun (friends - with the guys! - came over later that night to have some drinks and finish off the leftover cookies and cake pops from the shower, it was a nice way to finish the day :D ).

Some pics:

My sister-in-law and I wore the same dress!!

Successful shower! Lots of adorable forest themed items for the baby, too, so the nursery is coming along great. I'm going to take an inventory of what I need to get now for the baby, so more basic clothes and first aid/bathing type supplies.

My doctor appointments last week all turned out well. My platelets are still low, but the hematologist thanks they aren't low enough right now to warrant any concern, and thinks that it is just gestational. They are going to continue to draw my blood at my appointments, keep an eye on it, and have me back after I give birth to make sure everything returned to normal.

Also - the baby is growing right on schedule! Even a little bit ahead of the curve. I'm so glad all is well and healthy :)

I'm exhausted and not sleeping well at all anymore - I'm taking today (Sunday) easy, writing thank you notes, doing a little baby stuff organizing, and enjoying another incredibly beautiful fall day at home. I went to the barn and took a short walk with my horse in the morning, the place is gorgeous this time of year.

That's all for now!! I'm hanging in there, making the best of this time, and trying to rest a little bit too, haha.

Namaste friends <3

Sunday, September 20, 2015

More Photos - 32 weeks pregnant

The wedding was fun - it was on beautiful Lake Champlain! I'm tired today but still ran errands and visited the neighborhood street fair, which was also great!

Some pics:

At the wedding-

At the fair and surprised by my stranger shadow! -

32 weeks today. Time is moving so slowly AND so fast, it's strange. Doing a little work on the nursery today :)

Namaste <3

Saturday, September 19, 2015

Trying to fit it all in!

Obviously blogging had to fall by the wayside - but rest assured, not much has changed for me!

I lost a lot of my 2nd trimester energy and have been feeling very lightheaded/dizzy. Turns out my platelet levels have dropped below the normal range again - my OBGYN is having me go see a hematologist for testing, monitoring and potentially a transfusion before I'm due. I can't get an epidural if my levels are this low (I haven't decided I definitely want an epidural - but I want the option!!).

Also - the baby has been measuring small so I'm getting an ultrasound next week to check on it's development. The doctor assured me it's probably nothing - human error in measuring my belly or the baby was turned sideways, etc. I'm looking forward to making sure everything is okay, though!

So- my life is work, schoolwork, house chores and getting the nursery ready. I'm working hard to make sure life is as ready as it can be when the baby comes!!

I've been decently sedentary aside from my walking (9-10k steps) because of all the lightheadedness. Sometimes I feel like I can't breathe! So no additional working out for now - it's hard enough just to vacuum!!

I have a wedding to attend today - and then MY baby shower next week (excited!). Will try to post more in the interim!

Monday, September 7, 2015

Some Pregnant Pics

Today is my two year anniversary - Little more low-key than last year, because I'm pretty tired. I'm definitely entering another phase of pregnancy, and I'm struggling with my blood pressure and dizziness a lot more again. So taking it easy!

We went and visited Edith Wharton's home in Lenox, Massachusetts, to stroll the gardens and the historic house. We ate sandwiches and drank lemonade on the terrace overlooking the gorgeous gardens. It was a really nice afternoon, but I had to come home and lay down for a while to recoup. Going out for dinner at our favorite local spot tonight :)

Some pics of me pregnant (30 weeks now!):

Feeling pretty good about my pictures lately, even if it is weird to see this big belly preceding me everywhere!! Just enjoying this baby feeling more substantial now :)

Back to resting before dinner!

Wednesday, September 2, 2015

Never Comfy and Frozen Dinners

Not posting a ton because, truly, my brain just does not work anymore. I am never comfortable which means I'm really not sleeping. And sleep deprivation is not good for my creativity. I'm pouring all of my available energies and efforts into my dissertation, so this blog, which has so helped me in the past, isn't getting much attention. And I could really use a good outlet!

I am still not used to sleeping on my side, even though I've been doing it for about six months now. I have a body pillow that I use, but it doesn't change the fact that my shoulders just do not like being slept on. I've been waking up 5 to 7 times a night (usually to use the restroom, but also because of being in physical discomfort). If one shoulder hurts too much, I'll sleep on the other side to get back to sleep. But lately, my hips have been killing me, and I can find no relief.

The other night I woke at 2 AM with hip pain, and try to get back to sleep for almost an hour, before I decided to just get up, recognize that I was not falling asleep with that kind of pain, and started to do some stretches and exercises to find some relief for my poor muscles! Not fun.

But at least I won't be too shocked when the baby comes and I'm sleep deprived! I've been living that way for a few months already, haha :)

I am just very tired - and home alone this week. Food prep for this week means that I am eating chicken burgers and butternut squash for lunch every day, grapes, carrots, and yogurt for snacks. I switch back-and-forth between cereal with flax milk and banana for breakfast and my usual cottage cheese with sunflower seed butter and blueberries. 

For dinner, I totally went to super easy route, and got some frozen dinners (from Amy's- Mexican and Indian). I just simply do not have the energy to make dinner when I come home, deal with the dog and get the house cleaned up, before writing my dissertation. I hope not to rely on frozen dinners in the future, but this week, I simply didn't have it in me. I had to admit that... I'm starting to get overwhelmed and weepy! Adding dinner prep, cooking and dish washing was the sacrifice this week.

In bed by 8 pretty much every night (and I get home around 5:20 from work, so you can see that I really don't have a lot of time to spare in the evening) and up around 6 to walk the dog.

Making what fits, fit. Doing what I can, and try not to get too down on myself that I'm not the picture of health and fitness and clean living right now!

Friday, August 28, 2015

7 Month Check Up

I'm doing my glucose test this morning, so a lot of waiting around! I also had my 7 month check up - everything is good, the heartbeat is strong (it should be, this kid is raging around in there like a champ). 

I only gained 1 pound this month, officially, though probably a couple more since the last time I was weighed it was 4 PM and I got weighed at 8 AM this time. I'm pleased with that - trying to gain only baby weight from here on out, not Jeanette weight!

It's still a little struggle to accept my body - it's strange to not fit into my normal sports bras and for nothing with a waistband to fit and shirts not cover my belly! I did a little shopping to fill in some gaps, but I hate spending money on temporary clothes.

Going to a rehearsal dinner tonight at a super awesome restaurant! I'm excited to hang out with lots of friends tonight and to eat some great food. Big treat for me! I got a pretty maternity dress at Target for $15 for the event- I love deals :)

I'll leave you with a picture Chris snapped of me and Koda that I love:

Sunday, August 23, 2015

Purple Foods

I'm at 28 weeks pregnant today! Can't quite believe it - about 3 months to go till I can meet my baby :) Still feeling pretty good physically: I'm walking a ton still, getting enough sleep (despite multiple bathroom breaks in the middle of the night!), and not suffering any of the ill effects that are possible at this point in a pregnancy (big knock on wood there!!). My biggest discomfort is no longer being able to lie on my back without feeling suffocated. 

I've definitely put on weight - I'll find out how much at my appointment on Friday (I'm getting my glucose test done this week). I tried a pair of shorts that were a size 4 and they didn't even go up my thighs! I have a couple, stretchier pairs of sixes that still fit (under my belly haha) but it's weird to see shorts/leggings/underwear/etc that fit for years all of a sudden NOT. 

I'm not one of those super fit moms-to-be who only have a baby belly. I filled out for sure! Still coming to terms with that and believing I'll get my body back. I'm just not as strict as I used to be with food and exercise as I used to be - for good reason: I want my baby to have the best possible environment in my body it can! If I'm hungry, I eat (I used to not mind a little bit of hunger here and there, going to bed hungry or whatever), if I'm tired, I sleep (I used to go without a little bit of sleep here and there to get up earlier to work out), and my workouts are not intense like they used to be (no big jarring jumping around and twisting around - sticking to walking/hiking and yoga). It's just what is feeling right for me right now and my baby is thriving - moving a ton, right on schedule as far as size, great heartbeat. So I'm happy :)

So even though I'm off my paleo template, I'm still sticking with my rules of limiting my grains to one or two servings a day. The reason is because I needed to focus on getting a wider variety of nutrients - more fruits and veggies! Been doing pretty well at this, apparently I was craving purple foods (eat the rainbow!) today because we came home with this from the co-op this morning:

Grapes, fairy tale eggplant, purple peppers (my first time seeing these!), and plums! I think my body was trying to tell me something- that I need something in purple foods, maybe antioxidants? 

Been working to get in my greens, too. Putting whole bags of spinach into a smoothie with coconut milk and berries is one way! Last week we precooked lots of sautéed zucchini and I had some at every lunch.

So to recap - I'm eating more than maybe necessary, but me and baby are feeling really good and healthy and getting lots of rest and nutritious foods. It's not the time in my life to focus on my aesthetic body. I'm not going terribly off the rails, don't worry, health is still the goal (and getting back to obesity is NOT how I plan to start my life as a mom). I've just realized what's more important than an "ideal" body... It's been nice to let go that obsession.

Got a busy week ahead - meeting with a pediatrician, doing my glucose test, and my good friend's rehearsal dinner and wedding (I'm in the wedding! Will post pics of me in the bridesmaid dress).

Saturday, August 15, 2015

One Day Vacation and Belly Pic

Enjoying the Adirondacks today- taking a one day respite from writing, cleaning, cooking, worrying, and doing!

Had a great day with Chris, his family and Koda! We hiked, went out to dinner (I had crab cakes!), and spent time by the lake.

Can you spot Koda in the background??

Namaste <3

Thursday, August 13, 2015

My Body as Public Property??

Wow, so my belly got exponentially bigger this week! (Okay - that's an exaggeration :D) But, really, the baby is growing fast right now and so is my waistline. It feels so incredibly strange to have this weight on the front of me. It wasn't like that when I was overweight/obese because I carried my weight pretty evenly over my whole body. Now I feel all unbalanced and strange!

Strangers have started to remark on me being pregnant, that's odd for me.

And friends just cannot help themselves, some just want to touch the belly! I've found that I don't mind it when most people do it, those I consider myself close to and love dearly. It's actually kind of awesome.

But not everyone! One person who is more of an acquaintance than a friend said, "You know your belly is public property now!" and put her hand on my belly. Um, no. No, it's not. Yes, there is a whole other person inside there, but it's still my body. I found that a very weird thing to say on her part, especially as a woman!

Chris has been gone this week and I am pretty overwhelmed with all the stuff I need to do - mostly because I really, really want to make progress on my dissertation so I tend to get frustrated when house/financial/etc stuff has to take precedence. Chris does so much about taking those things off my plate when he is home, I'm grateful for him!

I've let some of my daily yoga practice slide this week, because I am walking the dog now, so I am getting in over 10k steps a day. But I definitely need to fit in 10-15 minutes of stretching even during these busy days.

So, otherwise, things are going well. Enjoying my new car, eating well, sleeping well (sorry Chris- but I do sleep so much better when you are gone... this pregnant lady needs to stretch wayyyyy out!), and getting stuff done overall.

Just a little check in, hope your week is going well, everyone <3

Monday, August 10, 2015

Great Weekend in the Woods!

It was time for the annual Cabinfest this past weekend! I almost didn't go, because it's a big party and obviously I'm not going to be drinking, and it's loud so not really conducive to the amount of sleep I need, stuff like that. But in the end, my friends convinced me to go and I ended up with a private room in one of the cabins far away from the music so that I could sleep when I wanted to!

Turned out, the extroverted part of me doesn't need to have a drink in order to party pretty hard! I stayed up until 330 in the morning both nights, and slept in and got plenty of sleep the next day- it was awesome. I got so energize just by talking to people and listening to the music that I didn't get sleepy. I'm so glad I went - last Cabinfest without kids!

I got to go swimming:

Enjoy the woods with friends:

See lots of great music: 

And enjoy a BBQ with my husband:

Party with my dragon: 

And sleep in an awesome cabin:

Successful weekend! I'm glad I didn't shy away from it just because I'm pregnant. I want to keep doing this kind of stuff with my kids, it's going to be different, of course, but it's a part of my life that I love.

But this week is a focus on healthy, nutritious foods (because I had quite a bit of junk over the weekend) and lots of sleep (I got a full seven hours the first night, but only five hours the next night because we had to leave early to pick up our dog).

Oh! And Chris assembled the crib before we left for the weekend:

I love it!!


Wednesday, August 5, 2015

One down

One problem solved:

And now just hoping I can start whittling down the problem list - instead of adding to it!!

Tonight I'm visiting my friends and their new baby. Obviously I'm pretty excited! I still sometimes can't believe I'll have a little one in three months.

Just a quick check in - also a little photo proof of how I'm looking at 6 months pregnant :)

Namaste <3

Tuesday, August 4, 2015

Prepping food for a busy day

So, because I pick up my car tonight, I am relying on Chris to get me to work and appointments today, still.

He's picking me up after work, bringing me to a tailor's appointment for my bridesmaid dress, then a half hour north to pick up my car. So neither of us are going to be home until the later evening - which means we won't have enough time to put together an actual cooked dinner.

And we both are trying to stay on track, which means eating real food! So we talked about it yesterday and decided it wasn't a good idea to pick up something on the go tonight (especially since we made plans to bring pizza over to our friends tomorrow, they just had a baby and that was their request). I am trying to stick to the "eat really well 6 days a week, have an indulgence on the other day" kind of rule. It's been working really well for me.

So, last night, we cut an acorn squash in half and roasted it up. Tonight, all we have to do it fill it with our patented "mix" (usually a lean protein cooked up with a variety of vegetables, like onions, broccoli, mushrooms, tomatoes), heat it up in the microwave and we'll have dinner on the table very soon after coming home.

It didn't take a lot of time, thought, or planning. Just a little bit of knowing the next day's schedule and prepping for it.

We had gotten out of these type of healthy habits in my first trimester (we were both overwhelmed and I was just basically sleeping all day, leaving Chris to handle everything - now that I have the energy to pitch in again, we're back to normal). It's easy to forget how actually easy it is to make these good decisions - when life gets crazy, worrying about food often slips down the priority list. But a healthy, well-fed body is much better equipped to deal with this crazy life.

Even though I haven't been posting a lot, I am back to my old self (mostly - aside from this wiggly little creature inside of me!). And, so far, I am having a really healthy pregnancy. I take the glucose test at the end of August, so even though I am expecting it to come out fine, you never know with gestational diabetes. But fingers crossed that my body is working fine in that regards :)

That's all for now. Namaste, friends <3

Monday, August 3, 2015

New(ish) car, keeping it together, how I'm eating

So, first things first - I found a new-to-me car over the weekend and I am going to finalize and pick it up on Tuesday! I am excited :) It's a Nissan Versa (so pretty darn affordable) and I've wanted one for a while. It's a 2012 with less than 30k miles on it, brand new tires, brakes, etc. Here's hoping it will be a reliable and safe car for my new little family for a while to come!

I think I did a really good job last week keeping it together last week - though things seemed to be falling down around me (in my life and in the lives of those I love). I definitely cried a few times and snapped at Chris a time or two (sorry!), but overall, I maintained a pretty even keeled physical presence, because I didn't want to physically stress the baby out. I took the time I needed to decompress and chill out before dealing with any of the problems that popped up. Obviously, having Chris (and other family/friends) around to help me deal with things helped immensely. Chris did a lot of the leg work with selling my Jeep and arranging appointments to look at new cars, etc. It gave me the time I needed to deal with others things in my life and not get overly stressed. So, very lucky there.

I've been eating very well - and staying moderately active - lately. I seem to have one day a week where I really indulge on foods I normally wouldn't (for example, that day last week was Friday when there was a pizza party at work - I ate past fullness and felt like a glutton) but the rest of the week was really on point. Lots of veggies and proteins, healthy dinners (made by Chris - again, thank you!).

Last night we had pork chops and roasted cauliflower for dinner - no starch but I made us really lovely banana-strawberry smoothies with coconut milk and cinnamon for dessert. I was pretty full (the baby is taking up a lot of room in there and I need to snack a little more than usual because I can't eat huge meals right now).

Lunch was a turkey burger with veggies in a lettuce wrap, breakfast was toast and eggs and turkey bacon.

Saturday was pretty similar.

So, limiting the sugary snacks and focusing on more nutritious stuff. It's been good and I feel worlds better! We just did a huge grocery shop (as we were eating fridge leftovers on the weekend) and have lots of lovely produce for the coming week.

Just a little update. Trying to practice what I KNOW is right - taking care of mind and body for the health of me and my baby. Doing it even when it would feel better to lose control (mentally freak out and physically indulge in a bunch of junk). But knowing that won't get me where I want to be.

Hope everyone's week is off to a good start. I hope mine goes much better than last week!

Thursday, July 30, 2015


Had my 6 month check up today: I'm healthy, baby is healthy and growing right on track with a strong heart, my blood counts increased back into the acceptable range, and I gained 2 pounds since my 5 month appointment! All is well and totally on track :)

My doctor was pleased (since I did my "bulk" gain the previous month) but said I'll do some serious gaining in the next 3 months - averaging a pound a week, especially as the baby grows from 1ish pounds to 7-8 pounds!

Eating really balanced lately - lots more nutrition than I was getting in my first trimester, that's for sure. Also getting my muscles back on track, because I want to be strong enough for the birth and post birth times.

Other things are rough: the transmission died on my car, we're selling it and starting the process of getting a new (used) car - not that we can afford it! But whatever, I've accepted the situation and haven't let myself get so anxious herb set that it is affecting me physically.

Having a bunch of other stupid life problems (insurance and crap like that) and also worrying about several friends going through a hard time, regarding their health. It's scary.

Despite the stress, my BP was 94/64- low as always!

So just busy - busy writing my dissertation, busy dealing with this car and financing, busy clearing out my brother's old room then putting the nursery together, and busy just trying to live the rest of my life! I'm tired :)

So that's what's up with me in case anyone was wondering. I'm still reading blogs and following social media to distract me during the day at times, but haven't had a ton of energy to write my own.

Namaste <3

Wednesday, July 22, 2015

Sorry I haven't been posting...

I'm just a little sad and overwhelmed right now, and doing my best to do some self-care during this time.

My physical health is excellent however, and the baby is doing well. So there's that :)

Will try to do an actual post soon <3

Friday, July 17, 2015

Treat Night

Chris came home from traveling all week today, so we treated ourselves to an easy night - he picked up Chipotle for us and brought it home, so I can have dinner right after work.

I got a salad with chicken on it, fajita veggies, salsa and sour cream. I constructed it off their online menu, see you can actually see the different calories of things as you build your meal. That was really helpful, to help me avoid picking every single high calorie item on the menu! The sour cream was my splurge :) I skipped the vinaigrette, opting to use the sour cream as the dressing.

The coffee shop down the street from us just started selling ice cream too. As a promotion, they were giving away free scoops of ice cream today. Free ice cream, no-brainer for me! Especially since my eating has been spot-on this week again (been back on track and feeling good!). 

Obviously, since it was free, it was a nice reasonable portion. I got peanut butter fudge, and I am more than satisfied :)

It's been really nice to be back to normal, to have five or so days of eating moderately and healthfully with A focus on nutrition, and then indulging in a little treat. I wrote that blog post some days ago about treats being treats, not the norm. And it was a good reminder. It's been nice to get back to that, because that ice cream tasted better than if I had been having ice cream every day! And no guilt at all for eating it, which is also nice. There shouldn't be guilt surrounding food like that.

I have my brother's fiancée's bridal shower on Sunday, and it is in New Jersey, so I have a bit of a long day that day. But it will be nice to see my family and her family again!

Enjoy the weekend.

Namaste <3

Wednesday, July 15, 2015

Staying Active Throughout the Day

I've been having some really great step counts lately. With the nicer weather, it's just been so much easier to get out and get moving, especially now that I'm feeling better.

Chris is away, so I'm walking the dog first thing in the morning. I have three breaks during the day that I take walks during. I also walk around right before my shift starts.

Once you're in motion, it is a lot easier to stay in motion!

When I'm sedentary too much, I find it very hard to find the motivation to get moving throughout the day. Inertia!

Also, I've been reading that it is beneficial to stay active throughout the day (not just be sedentary for most the day, have an hour so where you are really active, and go back to being sedentary). 

Mission accomplished!

Today was a little tough - I started to get overwhelmed with all the things I have to do when Chris is gone. Got momentarily stressed. But I managed to get my house chores done, write a couple pages of my dissertation, take the dog out to the pet store, buy myself some Ferrero Roché (ate two truffles and saved one for tomorrow!) and settle in for the night calmly.

And I am tired, especially after being active all day - another benefit! So goodnight <3

Tuesday, July 14, 2015

Belly Pic!

So that's me, 5 1/2 months pregnant :) Just in case anyone had lingering doubts that I am gaining enough weight for the little one! I'm not totally in love with my body at the moment, but I don't mind the belly :) The butt and upper arms could stand a little more trimming up. But hopefully I'll get back there eventually now that I am back in the world again and eating much better!

But that pregnant body got me and the baby up a mountain, so I can't complain too much - I felt on top of the world in that moment :D

Monday, July 13, 2015

Hiking while Pregnant

My blood pressure issues have definitely settled down to a normal range and my energy is back. And I have been missing the mountains something fierce lately. So I told my husband that I was ready to hike in the High Peaks again. I picked one that was only 6 miles round-trip, and has one of the less steep ascents (the climb is spread out - not so vertical).

And I had an amazing day!

The hike went well, the weather was absolutely gorgeous, and we ended up getting the summit to ourselves for 45 minutes (rare on a beautiful busy hiking day!).

I relaxed on the summit and felt my baby move - was so excited to be able to carry it up the mountain safely with me! I made sure to hike at a much slower pace than normal, keeping my heart rate slightly elevated but always even, and my breath calm.

I was so happy that day - elated, really. I forgot how much I gain from hiking and being in the wilderness.

I slept in the car on the way home, though :) Definitely tired me out!

It's going to be a hot week here, hope everyone has a great start to their week <3

Thursday, July 9, 2015

When are treats treats?

Last night, our group of friends flocked the recently bought house of another of our friends. To flock someone means to cover their lawn in pink plastic lawn flamingos :)

It's always fun, and our friends expect it now (which is why sometimes we wait six months or more to do it! Just to get a little bit of a surprise in), and it becomes a fun group activity.

After flocking, about a dozen of us stormed a local ice cream parlor and got ice cream. I've been super on point with my veggies and protein this week and keeping portions moderate, so I decided I would definitely have ice cream with them. I got a small peanut butter and jelly cone, and it was totally worth the splurge!

And then I walked into work this morning and there were donuts for everyone, and there will be cupcakes later.

I had to remind myself that a treat is only a treat if you have it once in a while. And I don't want donuts, cupcakes, and ice cream to become my norm! 

My doctor actually reminded me of this at my last appointment - saying keep treats moderate so that my weight gain doesn't continue at the pace it was (I was having nightly treats for months after getting pregnant! The doctor didn't think I had gained a dangerous amount of weight, but wanted me to slow it down).

I'm consuming a decent amount of sugar every day - it is the season of awesome fresh fruit! So I've been eating blueberries, cherries, strawberries, various melons and more throughout the week. That sates my sweet tooth plenty.

Typing this out helped reinforce to me that I won't have the donuts this morning or the cupcakes this afternoon. I was waffling a little on that (I'm weak - I love sugar!!!) but I know what is best for me and this baby. Got to focus on more nutritious stuff and leave the sugar to the fruit and occasional treat. I have a bridal shower I am throwing this weekend which will have lots of SUPER awesome treats, so I want to save my treat-eating for then :D

Everything else is going well with me. I started my new position and I like it much better than my old one (other than that they made my schedule later so I get home later, boo). But, otherwise, I enjoy my days a little more than I used to.

Baby is moving all the time, now. It's crazy and I'm not used to it at all! It's really special, though and I've been enjoying every second :) I can't wait for he/she to wake up in the morning so I can feel him/her and say good morning!

That's all for now. Namaste <3

Sunday, July 5, 2015

Eating, Moving, My Belly

We went up to the Adirondacks this weekend, and had an awesome time! I slept well in the cold mountain air, walked over 14,000 steps every day, and ate a lot of delicious food (no BBQs though!).

I had a salmon dinner on Saturday that was amazing!

And I got an omelette with toast at the town diner this morning!

Chris and I didn't do any big hikes, but did a lot of little walks around the area to get to some really beautiful places.

AND it became quite clear to me that, no matter what I wear, my belly is visible to everyone, so I have to start embracing it and stop hiding it so much.

It was a restful weekend - though active! - and I ate well, but didn't go overboard. I think I am pretty much back to my old way of eating, I'm not having crazy hunger pains and feeling out of control, so other than the reintroduction of some grains and dairy, I'm starting to feel like my old self as far as eating goes!

Just started week 21 of the pregnancy. Time is flying!! We ordered the crib and will buy curtains and a rug soon, too. Getting very, very real. Enjoying feeling the baby move more and more, too <3

Enjoy your week - take care of your hearts and bodies!