I've been living with my now-husband for about four years. In the beginning of those four years, I would never dream to tell him what I weighed. Especially since, very quickly, I gained almost ten pounds during the we-are-in-love-and-eating-out-and-drinking-and-getting-each-other-treats phase. At points, I was nearing 150. At 5'4, I didn't want him to know that (though I'm sure he could tell I was uncomfortable in my body as I never wanted him to see me naked during these higher weight times).
But, after about that first year and a half of indulgence, we started to communicate about how we would BOTH like to lose weight and make health/fitness a priority in our lives.
I began speaking about my weight in more general terms, how much I'd like to lose or goal weights, but wasn't super comfortable just telling him what I weighed. It was a dirty secret, in some ways, something I was ashamed of.
Which is strange - it's just a fact, it's just my body, it's a scientific measure of my mass here on earth.
But, yeah, shame. It sucks.
For over a year, now, I've had no shame telling him my weight, and for example: I texted him this morning telling him I weighed in at 120.4 (because I was happy I was back at goal, hahaha).
And it struck me - I wonder how many other wives/partners would text their significant other their weight, haha. Is it just us obsessed with weight loss? Is it disordered? Is it normal because weight is just a number and nothing to be ashamed of?
Am I engaging in bad behaviors or good ones?
I like to let him know my weight (since we both have and do struggle with weight) so that I can be open, honest and accountable. Hell, I tell you guys my weight ALL the time!
I also like to be honest so that if one of us or both of us are going down a dangerous path of slow gaining, we don't have to hide it or make it a shameful thing. We can just, together, adjust how we are eating/working out/living.
I really do like to be in it together. I think I need to be this honest, all the time, because for SO long I hid in disordered behaviors surrounding eating. The more open I am, the less I can hide, the less I can be disordered.
Just my thoughts this morning... I try to be healthy about this mentally, but it is hard, since I have had messed up thinking about eating for so, so, so long. I grew up binge eating and eventually purging or starving (with little effect on my weight). I was obese for over a decade. It messes things up in my brain, for sure.
So honesty and openness are my defenses, now. It works for me.