Weigh-in this morning: 120.6
Back to the low end of the range I like to be in. Feels great!
I also really like the fact that (aside from the aftermath of one VERY salty indulgent night) I have stayed in my range of 118 - 123 for four months now.
Previously, I was staying in a range of 123 - 127, and I stayed in that range for over a year.
It's that steady weight trend that I really, really like to see. It's not something I ever had as a teen or a young woman in my early to mid 20s. It took me till almost 30 years old to REALLY get the hang of healthy weight loss and healthy weight maintenance.
(Side note that I think is important: it has always been a goal of mine to find a small weight range I can really and truly stay within and STOP the weight fluctuations of ten pounds or more in a year.... it is so much healthier to be able to maintain weight than to continuously yo-yo!)
I write here about my struggles, because it IS still a struggle. Obesity and eating disorders don't just POOF disappear and life is easy because you're thin now. I don't want to sugar coat this for other who deal with the same issues and are looking forward to the "end goal" where they hit their goal weight and things get easy. Nah, not really like that. But! It is not all gloom and doom, either. There is joy in working for what you want. For finding health where there used to be none.
So, yes, there is struggle, but there is also success.
I do, finally, after all these years of self-hatred and body loathing, love my body.
It still has it's flaws, but I look in the mirror and I am proud. I am proud of my hard work. I am proud of my strength (mental and physical!). I am proud that I brought a body ravaged by depression and sadness back into health.
Loving my body is directly correlated to loving myself. To being proud of who I am and what I've done and am doing. When I do the right things, things that are hard but RIGHT, to stay healthy and fit, I am proud. And that pride turns into love.
I wish this for everyone who is struggling. And because I wish it for everyone, I give this advice:
It will always be work and sometimes it will be really, really hard. The damage we did to our bodies and our minds requires constant vigilance to keep in check. All that work and vigilance is WORTH IT. So worth it. To be proud of the body you have, no matter what it's flaws, because you know you've done right by it.
I am so comfortable right now. I want to always remember this and stay on this path.