I have maintained a weight under 130 since July, which was my MAIN goal for 2012. I got a humongous wolf tattoo to reward myself for getting under 130 and as a contract with myself to stay there:
Now, I don't quite have that SAME body today as in that picture taken 6 months ago... 6 months ago, I was 128ish pounds of muscle that I have not maintained. I'm 126 with less muscle right now. I have a goal to get back to that spot in the next few months. I know I need to join a gym again soon... money is tight, but it's important. I want a strong body that is going to last me 50 years :)
I know I saw 121 on the scale last year, but the depression over my dad's death and the traumatic way that I found him kind of settled deep into me and I've been struggling to do the right thing all the time. But I am doing the right thing enough of the time. Life is going on and my health hasn't taken a nosedive. I hope to see 121 by my wedding in September.
My wedding!!
I haven't really mentioned anything of my wedding since September, for obvious reasons. Grief is starting to lessen and excitement for my wedding is starting to grow.
We have a venue, church, photographer, musicians for the church, caterer and florist.... I still need a DJ and someone to marry us! I have my dress, I've picked out the color of my bridesmaids' dresses (they each get to pick their own style) and Chris will be going in soon to pick out tuxes. Soooo... things are plugging right along.
So, things are still up and down... I am happy some times, pretty sad other times, really lethargic and depressed the rest of the time. BUT... the silver linings are there. I see them more and more.
Remember: I have a goal that by March 19th (the 1 year anniversary of my first blog spot) that I will be right on track again... working out, eating mostly paleo, and looking forward to the joys in life :)
Eventually the silver linings will grow and dissipate the clouds. It just takes time. :)
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