No change!

I was gone for three and a half days for New Years, in New York City, and I maintained my weight :)

I feel pretty good about that. I am still weighing in at 128, which is 8 pounds less than I was this time last year. However, this year I did hit a low of 121, which I loved and felt great at. Grief and depression derailed me for a time.... I am still struggling, but I will not be gaining any more weight! I will get back to 121 at some point in the next few months. There is no doubt about that.

I have some intense stressors in my life right now: I am unemployed and my teaching job in June depends on if enough students enroll in it. If they don't, and it's canceled.... then I am completely without income for the year. I cannot go back to my old job because it is a travel-based job and I can no longer travel every week because of the dog I inherited.

I have a huge house to take care of, and I don't really know how. I am learning as I go along. It's a responsibility I wasn't quite ready for.

Chris is still traveling, so I am alone here :(

I am waiting for Chris to see if I can get on his health insurance as a domestic partner before we get married... I desperately need some help, to go to therapy... I am sad and hopeless for WAY too much of the time. It has to change. I need to start thinking life is really awesome again.

I have to prep for this class that might not even happen......

I have to finish my dissertation if I ever hope to have a job......

Sigh. Bleh. Vomit.

But, despite all that... I am soldiering on. I AM taking care of the house, I AM figuring out how to get the bills paid, I AM taking care of the dog, I AM getting back on track with school and I AM eating right and being healthy.

I am doing all these things because the only other choice is to give up. If I give up, then there really is no hope that things will turn around for me.

This is 2013.... the hardest start to a year I have ever, ever had.