Wednesday, January 2, 2013

No change!

I was gone for three and a half days for New Years, in New York City, and I maintained my weight :)

I feel pretty good about that. I am still weighing in at 128, which is 8 pounds less than I was this time last year. However, this year I did hit a low of 121, which I loved and felt great at. Grief and depression derailed me for a time.... I am still struggling, but I will not be gaining any more weight! I will get back to 121 at some point in the next few months. There is no doubt about that.

I have some intense stressors in my life right now: I am unemployed and my teaching job in June depends on if enough students enroll in it. If they don't, and it's canceled.... then I am completely without income for the year. I cannot go back to my old job because it is a travel-based job and I can no longer travel every week because of the dog I inherited.

I have a huge house to take care of, and I don't really know how. I am learning as I go along. It's a responsibility I wasn't quite ready for.

Chris is still traveling, so I am alone here :(

I am waiting for Chris to see if I can get on his health insurance as a domestic partner before we get married... I desperately need some help, to go to therapy... I am sad and hopeless for WAY too much of the time. It has to change. I need to start thinking life is really awesome again.

I have to prep for this class that might not even happen......

I have to finish my dissertation if I ever hope to have a job......

Sigh. Bleh. Vomit.

But, despite all that... I am soldiering on. I AM taking care of the house, I AM figuring out how to get the bills paid, I AM taking care of the dog, I AM getting back on track with school and I AM eating right and being healthy.

I am doing all these things because the only other choice is to give up. If I give up, then there really is no hope that things will turn around for me.

This is 2013.... the hardest start to a year I have ever, ever had.


  1. Never give up! Never surrender! It'll all work out. :)

  2. Keep on pushing. It sucks to have so many obstacles! This too shall pass...

  3. One foot in front of the other, keep moving. It's all you can do sometimes. Good luck!

  4. Get into fighting position, Jeanette. Hands up, chin down, left foot forward, and eyes on the prize.