Looks like I am going to be slogging through some snow on my dog walk today! I am totally committed to these walks - for Koda's health AND mine! It is an excellent way to get in my miles and is usually enjoyable. But, wow, I sure can't wait for spring to come. I am day-dreaming about being able to ditch all the layers, just slip on some flip-flops, and head out the door with my pup!
So, update on how my plan to get back on track is going:
Vitamins have been taken everyday.
Dog walked every day (like I said, it's an hour long, almost 3 mile walk every time, not just an "around the block so you can pee" walk!).
Stretching/yoga done everyday.
Physical Therapy exercises for my shoulder done everyday.
..... Paleo eating? Only about 80%. I'd like that to be more like 95% in order for me to lose a little bit of weight and be totally on track!
But I think the biggest difference in this quest in the past month to get back on track..... I am totally back in the mindset of finding health and fitness. It is not to the levels I was at last year (super hardcore gym goer and 100% paleo eater).... but I am back, whole-heartedly.
The depression seems to have lessened. These days are easier for me now. I am still sad. Sometimes I lay awake at night, struggling to sleep, because I think about my dad and how much this situation sucks. I definitely will not be getting over finding him anytime soon.... I still get that super sick in my stomach when my brain even lightly remembers that moment. But the remembering is slowing down... it's not every hour, or even every day!
That's a huge change for me.... to realize a day went by and I didn't remember that bad moment about my dad. I don't want to remember him that way. I have awesome pictures up on my fireplace's mantel of my dad and mom's wedding day and of my dad with his first German Shepherd. Good things.
I am on my way, I know it.
5 months later and I can see the end of this struggle. I had felt like my whole life was ripped out from under me... and I am getting it back.
There is a lot of purposeful work involved to get back to where I was. I am glad I felt strong enough to do it.
Back on the priority list: my health/fitness, my happiness, living this life as fully as possible.
I lost all that. I didn't see the point anymore. It was too dark. But everyone was right... time was the answer. Give it time! Those months were long and painful, but here I am, alive and coming out the other side into something better.
So, agenda for today: yoga before shoveling, walking the dog, and keep on keepin' on!