Rainy Friday... talking about strength.

So grateful Chris got to come back from work travel a day early... he was there this morning, walking the dog in the pouring rain while I stayed in and made us breakfast. Phew.

Still weighing in at 123 right now. Glad for that. Steady and normal.

This blog is about physical health, for sure... but I always intended it to be about mental/spiritual health, as well. Obviously, the past month, you have seen blog posts from me super focused on my mental health and how to get back to a normal place. Not there, yet, but close.

I feel like there are a lot of parallels towards my struggle right now to be mentally healthy and my struggles in the past for physical health.

When I feel low and down and have no energy.... I still have to do "it." I still have to do what is right for me and healthy for me. That means no laying down in bed with a snack and a TV show and tuning the world out (not for mental health and not for physical health).

This is HARD. This requires strength and perserverance and doing "it" all the time. It isn't something you are born with, that strength, it is just something you do. Every morning you get up and you do what you know is right, even though it is hard, even though it would be easier to be lazy and not try, you are strong and you create strength in yourself.

Every day I get up early and take care of the dog and the house and get to work and sacrifice the sweet, laziness I used to have.... I feel stronger and like it will be easier to do the next day.

When I got healthy physically... I changed from someone who used to sleep late and eat a huge breakfast of sugar and then watch TV to someone who woke up super early and started walking and came home and ate a sensible breakfast. Why? I had to. If I wanted health, I had to and I realized that.

The same thing now. If I want to smile again, to feel light again, to be healthy mentally again, I have to do the work. I can't just sit back, be lazy, and hide. I have to do these things, be this person... even if I am faking it sometimes, just DOING it makes me that person. Then soon, there is no faking, this is who I am.

Anyway.... lots of blather.

I wish I could be more articulate about how I feel about these things.

Everyone can get to where they want to be. But it needs to come from them, they need to DO it and do it every day. They need to do the hard things and not resent it.

One thing for me: I've started writing again, creatively. I never really mentioned it on this blog, but growing up, I wanted to be a fiction writer for a living. I wanted to write stories and books. I wrote for years and years but was so SHY and so disbelieving of what I was capable of... I gave up.

But not now. I have been dedicating time every day to putting my words down on paper. To doing it.

Namaste, friends, I hope you do "it" today :)