Ooookay, so my weight continues to decrease... about every three days, I am seeing a half pound loss on the scale, so a little over a pound a week at this point.
Down to 121 this morning. I am slightly worried about it (at the same time as being ecstatic I might actually see 120 in my lifetime, I never thought I would see what my body looked like at my "ideal" weight). But... I also don't get it. I get that I am stressed and grieving and kind of crazy right now...
But I am eating. I am eating about 80 - 85 % paleo and 90 % healthy (haha, I am definitely indulging in some alcohol and candy). So not eating the best I've ever eaten, but not terrible either. I eat 3 meals a day and a snack or two. Also I have had no gym time/work outs/running/etc AT ALL. No planned, heart rate-high, muscles working work outs. I walk the dog about 3 - 4 miles a day and do house stuff.
So why is my weight dropping? Is stress seriously enough to cause weight to drop even if lifestyle isn't conducive to weight loss? Am I losing a TON of muscle??? (God, that would suck)
Well, anyway, I am going to keep an eye on my weight... make sure it starts holding steady. I would love to stay at/around this weight. I would like to not gain anything back, so that means I do have to be mindful about food/exercise... I also do not want to continue to lose weight without trying, because that's actually kind of scary when I am at my lowest weight (I imagine the last time I was 121, I was in 7th or 8th grade). I've had to STRUGGLE to get a pound off when I was 160/150/140... but now that I am in the 120s, I just keep losing? How much muscle could I possibly lose (it's not like I was hugely jacked in the first place)?
I don't mean to sound ungrateful for being lighter.... but it's weird for my body to be doing this.
Anyway, that's the health portion of my life.
Last night, I had a meeting with my graduate student advisor. He helped me out a lot. Got me to see it's okay to chill out and not plan the rest of my life right now. He made me realize it is okay if I am unemployed this winter... that I should use that time to finish my dissertation. He got me to apply to teach a course or two at the university. I am making strides. I am trying to do what is good for my life. I think getting my PhD and getting teaching experience would be great for me. I don't have to have my career set in stone this winter... I need to stop stressing.
I didn't mention it, but Chris is traveling this week. All the responsibility of the dog and the house is on me (ayiyiyi). I am doing okay... getting up early, walking the dog, coming home quickly, walking the dog, doing what I got to do, walking the dog, sleep... repeat. Hahaha.
I actually have an appointment with a local vet's office today to meet with a trainer. I am thinking of putting him into a daycare that specializes in socialization and behavior training twice a week... just so that he's not sitting at home for 8 hours while I work and his brain and body will be engaged. He deserves a nice life, too.
Alright: there's my life and stress and crazy in a nutshell.
Still reading all your blogs, even if I am not commenting all the time. It's a nice stress reliever for me :) Keep it up and keep being pretty :)