Taking a quick break after waking up this morning to just pause and reflect.
I'm moving into my dad's house today. I am leaving my apartment. I love my apartment. I am so comfortable here. It's been home for a long time now, Chris and I have really made it our own. But I love my dad's house, too. I grew up there, my parents loved that house. It is in a GREAT neighborhood, good neighbors, lots of a trees, very quiet.
I officially become a full time dog owner, as well. That terrifies me a little. I don't want to give up everything I love (skiing, parties with friends). I will need to find a way to make it work.
Both these things also mean I need to start looking for a new job. No more traveling Monday through Friday. Ugh. Probably won't be an archaeologist anymore.... but we will see what life brings. I just want to like my job.
I am scared.
I feel like I am trembling all the time.
It is also very hard to eat. I'll not eat for 12 or more hours, and then someone will bring me food and the hunger will strike me like an insane person and I will eat and eat. It's hard to do these things right. I feel like I am still in shock and in a fog. It was 8 days ago that I found my dad in the basement. Stupid stuff like brushing my teeth or grocery shopping or whatever is the farthest thing from my mind.
I hope I will fall into a pattern. One month to get everything out of my apartment (we are just moving our bedroom in today... it's the only thing we *need* to live there since the house was ready to live in as far as kitchen, etc). I am hoping in two months, I will be settled in the house and have a new job and a new routine and will start to love life again.
Right now, life is just making me sad. Trying to see the silver linings, I am.