I fell into that cyclical loop for most of my life. Even after I had lost the bulk of my weight, I still cycled up-and-down yearly, with the seasons. It was so stressful mentally, emotionally, and physically.
This is the first year that did NOT happen, and it was worth all the mental and physical work I did to make it happen. I feel proud of my behavior for this past year. I feel like I treated my body like it deserves to be treated. I didn't abuse it over the holidays. I feel no shame, no guilt, and no crazy sense that I'm running out of time before summer to finally be who I want to be (or who I am told I want to be).
I wish this media circus around New Year's resolutions and "getting that summer body" didn't happen. I think it helps to create the cyclical weight gain and loss that so many people experience in the year. We all know that dieting year after year, regaining and losing, is not good for the body.
It took a lot of self-reflection and work this past winter/holiday season to not gain. A true realization of WHY I want to be a healthy weight - because I want to live for a long time and I want those years to be full of energy and good health and unlimited mobility! It's for me, because I love myself and I deserve a strong, healthy body to live this life.
I've spent a decade obese, a decade losing weight and trying to find true maintenance. I don't know if this is it- but it feels like it!! It required a HUGE mental shift to doing this for me, because it's good and right. Not for anyone else, not because of media pressure to be thin, those things aren't enough.
Still not tracking, still eating clean/paleo, still active... Weighing 121.8 today.
This is my ALWAYS body, not my Summer body! I want to treat it well year-round.
Feeling beautiful and strong when I woke up, snapped a photo before yoga:
Also- I wanted something other than fruit or dark chocolate for dessert last night with Chris, so I made a Paleo-fied dessert! Gasp!!! ;)
It's rare, but sometimes I do like to have the mouthfeel of bready/cakey things. I made this from delightedmomma.com (The Two Minute Cinnamon Banana Mug Cake (Paleo)):
I accidentally microwaved it for three minutes instead of two, so it looked like a hot mess that I don't want to show you. But it was delicious!
I'm not a proponent of having paleo breads and paleo muffins and paleo cookies around the house on a normal basis. But it's been a while since Chris has made his famous Paleo pumpkin pie, so I indulged- mmm. And, I was hungry when I ate it (I had half and Chris had the other half), and my weight isn't up. I am still listening to my body :)
So, what's the take away from this post? That it took me a long, long, long time to get out of our society's dysfunctional weight loss propaganda and to realize that true weight loss and true maintenance would only come "easily" when I did it for me, my health, and my life solely. I hope I can urge others not to get wrapped up in the yo-yo dieting that is so common.
Have a great day!