Tuesday, April 1, 2014

Milestone Memories of Weight Loss

Well, first, I just wanted to update everyone and say that my no tracking is going well! I am hovering around the same weight I was for the months leading up to my no tracking experiment - perhaps I would weigh a pound or so less if I was tracking right now, but that pound is SO WORTH losing the hassle and stress and obsession of tracking (for me!).

So, I've read a few blogs lately that talk about experiments with running and starting Couch 2 5K and things of that nature. Those posts made me remember, with pride, when I first got out there, myself! Thought I would share the story (since I am NOW at a place where I can up and run 5K whenever I feel like it... the story has a very successful ending!!):

It was the year I was 21/22. I had stepped on the scale for the first time in many years and saw 198.something displayed digitally. I am not tall. I was too heavy. I had no idea. I dedicated myself that moment (it really was an epiphany type moment, a moment my whole mind and my whole life changed) and said out loud "I will never see 200 pounds. This changes today." I knew I had 70 pounds to lose (I am short and slight of frame).

The next morning, I got up at 6 AM, put on my walkman-radio, put on some shapeless sweats and headed outside to walk. I rarely went outside (was such an internet addict and a social-phobe) so I was pretty anxious. But I put my head down and walked. And walked. And walked till I was really tired (my dad actually wondered where I was because I NEVER left the house if not for work and came to look for me).

One day, I walked down to a local nature area with a pond and a trail. The walk to the pond was .5 miles from my house. The trail around the pond was .7 miles. So I used those as gauges for how far I walked.

Eventually, it was easy for me to walk 5 miles. I was proud :) I was never athletic, I never used my body, was always the chubby girl, the clumsy girl. I thought it was time to up my challenge (this is a few months later). I would run!

So I got up the nerve, looked around to make sure no one was nearby (I had lost about 20 pounds but was still insanely self-conscious) and jogged. I jogged for maybe 30 seconds before I nearly fell to my knees, sucking wind. So much harder than I thought.

From that day on, every morning walk was dotted with attempts at running. A little farther each time. Days, weeks, practicing. It went excruciatingly slowly. I felt like I wasn't improving!! Until, one day, I started to think about how MUCH I was walking and jogging. Surely I was getting stronger. I was definitely losing weight!! It had to be a mental thing, in part. I talked myself up while walking, saying "the pond is .7 miles... you WILL run that .7 and you WILL NOT stop."

And I did. I did - even though my heart was pounding through my chest and I was starting to gasp (had no idea how to breathe calmly when running at this point haha) and thought I might die. Logically, I knew I wouldn't die, so I kept going, my legs on fire. The last 15 seconds to where I had started were SO FREAKING HARD, I wanted to stop, say it was "good enough" but I wanted to be proud of myself. I finished.

And cried a little. Okay, a lot. I could run. I knew I could.

The next day I ran a full mile without stopping - very slowly, but I didn't stop.

I remember SO FREAKING CLEARLY how proud I felt, how strong I felt, how good. I knew I was making a change that would last a lifetime, I could feel it in my heart.

I continued to walk and run at that pond over several years, eventually entering 5K races, getting my 5K time sub-30 minutes, losing the rest of the weight and getting on the road to who I am today.

I eventually gave up running (I did it because it was all I knew... now, obviously from my last posts, I am more into hiking, yoga, and strength training) but I will always be grateful for how it made me feel.


I hope anyone out there who reads this gets a better insight to where I started from.

I can't really see that girl who started back then in me now. I am so different. But she is definitely a part of me, and I am so, so, so grateful to her for doing the hard work that needed to be done.

I wrote this post yesterday, as I will be busy with my first substitute job today!

Namaste <3


  1. Aw great story!! Proud of you and that season of life where running was exactly what you needed to meet your goals. I hope your substitute job goes well!!

  2. Hope your substitute job goes well

    All the best Jan

  3. Thanks for sharing your story. It must have been hard for you to take that first step, but you did it and then some :)
    Glad that not tracking is going well for you!
    Hope the job went well today :)