I wrote yesterday's post as an insight into a disordered mind.
It is not a healthy way of thinking. It is why I am working on it, is why I am blogging about it, it is why I am honest about it. I cannot change what I do not acknowledge, I cannot change what I hide.
It's also to show you that lots of problems such as self-esteem and body image and other mental things, they aren't solved when you get thin. It's important to work at it at the beginning of your journey, in the middle and end. Keep your mind and your spirit healthy, to love yourself, at all stages. I didn't do that work during my weight-loss, I just lost weight. I'm doing that work now.
I'm actually writing this blog early in the morning, using voice to text, as I walk my dog. See:
I feel very Zen and insightful this morning. Taking a look back. Being forgiving of myself. But expecting better of myself, at the same time.
I am peaceful, I am working, I'm healing. My brain won't always be so jumbled and confused. It's what I like about this blog and about this community, it helps us remember that there is better out there for ourselves.
Thank you for your comments and your concern. I didn't mean to alarm anyone by my post. It's part of my process. I hope to help other people feel not so alone, too.