I don't feel so overwhelmed. I see that the house will get put together, my life will get put together, and we can be happy.
Then, on my coffee break this morning, I went downstairs at work to mail a letter. It is my life insurance. Something my dad started and paid for me. Kept for me. Life insurance. If I die.... my dad is dead. We used his life insurance to pay for his funeral. Because he's dead.
Started to cry a little bit in the hallway. :(
But, it's okay. It's okay now. I understand I am going to feel this way on and off. I miss him. I'm going to feel that.
I wanted to share something I heard while listing to an older Savage Love Podcast (so bored doing menial tasks at work, I listen to a lot of podcasts!). Someone had called in, grieving, recently having lost her fiance. Dan Savage brought up something he had heard (I think about 9/11) by the Queen of England:
Grief is the price we pay for love. - The Queen of England
It is a price we should all pay willingly, because a life without love is a life of constant grief. A life with love is a life with moments and seasons of grief. - Dan Savage
And that was Dan's thoughts on the matter.
I'd pay this price a million times over (and I am scared I will have to :( ) in order to love and be loved and have love in my life. When death happens, this is the price for that love. But I wouldn't change it for all the world.