Yesterday, I went to go pick up my wedding dress.
I was a little underwhelmed. They had to order the dress a size bigger than my original purchase, because it didn't fit around my chest (and there is NO weight to be lost in my chest, haha). But now, I have a size 8 dress... and it literally falls off of me unless I hold it up. It's big and boxy and has no shape. But there is no point in altering it now, because the wedding is 10 months away (oh. wow. only ten months?? holy crap).
I know it shouldn't matter. But I wanted to look in the mirror and feel beautiful yesterday. I felt like a two year old wearing her mother's dress... I felt silly and little girl-like.
Eh, well. I packed it away in the spare closet and won't bother with it again till about June!
I might be a little complain-y right now because I didn't have coffee today. I am really starting to rely on the little boost of energy I get from coffee, which I tend to drink between 10 - 11 AM. So, being the control freak that I am, I told myself, no coffee today. You will not rely on outside stimulants to live your life. Hahahaha. I am going to stick to the no coffee thing today, even though my brain is begging me for it!!
I knew I never wanted to be someone who needed a cup of coffee to wake up in the morning. I easily follow my rule of not (usually) drinking coffee before 10 AM. I like drinking it then, because it gets me through the mid-day work slump easily.
But now, I am a droopy mess, writing this at lunchtime, ready to take a nap! Going to go get some fresh air and a walk in a few minutes to help with that problem.
Last night, I had two big glasses of red wine and an Italian meal prepared by my friend who is going to be making that same dish this weekend in a competition (had to help her taste test, of course!). Definitely not on plan. The calories weren't outrageous because the portions were very reasonable, but I definitely consumed pasta and meat with preservatives and cheese... and wine. Not on plan at all.
I am purposely bowing out of a social gathering tonight to make sure I don't drink or snack extra. I am starting to enjoy that social eating and drinking too much, so it is time to take a break.
Also, I think Koda would enjoy an entire evening at home with me. He is becoming such a good, good dog. I am glad I struggled through the hardest times last month, it was worth it, even though it almost reduced me to a drooling pile of exhaustion!
Koda is a little calmer, learning the rules a little better, and all the exercise is DEFINITELY helping his mental state. Also, I think he is starting to heal from losing my dad. He doesn't seem as anxious or stressed. I am trying to get there myself :)
Alright, time to go shake off this sleepiness so that I can finish up my work day,