Friday, November 2, 2012

Low weight/Mud run/Questionnaire

Weight is pretty low this morning... 121.5. I *am* still tracking all my food, calories and macronutrients, so I guess I can understand why I am not putting on weight, even through my ups and downs. It is just strange for a girl who hovered at 140 most of the time since getting out of obesity to just sit comfortably in the low 120s. I kind of don't believe it.

I am supposing that the major overhaul that went on in the past year really took root? Consistent activity, eating clean, eating Paleo, being mindful, not drinking all the time, etc.... those habits are still with me. Aside from my Halloween insanity, I did eat clean this week.

On the exercise front, not a lot has been getting done... however, I am pretty active in the "I'm moving around all day" sense. I walk a lot at work, and on my lunch break. I walk the dog in the mornings and evenings. I move things and clean and am just generally busy from the time I get home to the time I go to bed.

I miss the consistent exercise. I miss STRENGTH TRAINING the most. I miss feeling powerful.

Tomorrow, I hope, is going to jump start me back into purposeful exercise. I have a Mud Run I signed up for in the spring (when I was tough, strong, and all was well with the world). It is 4 miles, up a mountain, with obstacles. Oooookay.

It will be the first purposeful exercise I've done since my dad passed away.

I am hoping I do well (in that I don't fall down, unable to continue, red faced and struggling to breathe), with residual toughness from this year of being strong.

I am hoping that it is a HUGE wake up call to me... I hope it reminds me how important exercise is and how good it makes me feel. Being in nature while I exercise is super good for me (I miss hiking, wow).

I will let you know how I do.

Okay. So I saw this questionnaire on Norma's blog, which she got from Hangy Hippo's blog and wanted to do it as a good practice for me to stay mindful of what is going on inside my crazy, messed up head:

I view food as… 90% of the time, I view food as fuel. I eat things that are palatable to me, of course, but I eat a balanced diet, making sure to keep carbs around 50%, proteins and fats at 25ish%. I eat "super" foods every day, like sweet potatoes, spinach, and berries. Somewhere in this journey, it became very important to me to make sure my body has EVERYTHING it needs to be healthy (dying because I didn't take care of myself sounds awful to me :( it became even more true when my dad, who ate very poorly and didn't exercise, died suddenly because of his heart). However, I will not lie... a certain percentage of the time, I eat for pleasure, to soothe my anxiety or to divert my attention. I've never completely gotten rid of that mindset that made me fat in the first place.
My weight is… currently the lowest it has EVER been: 121.5. Before getting healthy, I was in the upper 190s. My previous low, when I was in my mid 20s, was 133. Then I hovered around 135-142 for the rest of the time. I thought it was impossible for me to be in the 120s at ALL, much less almost out of them. I do want to see 119 next... though right now, I am a little wrapped up in my grief. I need to be shaken out of my complacency to get to the next level.
When I think about my body, I think… that I have failed it. I regret so much what I've done to my body in the past. Now, presently, I can see my body for the gift that it is. I wish it didn't bear the scars of my past, but theyremind me of how important it is to treat my body well.
What I want in terms of health is… to stay at a healthy weight, to continue to have great blood pressure and cholesterol scores, to keep toxins out of my body.
The most important thing I’ve learned about for my own body is… that it is a reflection of and contributor to my mental state. If I am depressed, my body shows it. If I am out of shape, I am depressed. It is a vicous cycle I don't want to get back into!

1 comment:

  1. It's refreshing to read such a success story. So many are struggling to lose weight and keep it off and you body has somehow adapted its self to maintain a good weight. If you can figure out what you did right and bottle it, you'll be a rich woman.