Monday, July 29, 2013

Follow Up

I didn't really detail how the weekend went with my "friend" (emphasis on the quotes!).

I was nice and friendly and talkative and normal. She was her usual abrasive self. I realize more and more - she needs/wants a lot from me/us as her friends, but doesn't really give a whole lot in return. She's very demanding and concerned with her comfort and how she wants her day to go. Chris and I are very accommodating in general. We like our friends to be comfortable and have a nice time. But this is just another level and soon, we start to feel like doormats.

So we were in a car for a total of 8 hours together. Shared a room. Sat at the same table, etc, etc.

I pushed my anger and frustration out of my mind. I really, really, really dislike drama. I just wanted to have a nice time at the wedding - it was a gorgeous venue, had amazing food, and two dozen of our friends were there. No reason for me to worry about one slightly sour girl.

It wore on me, though. By the time we dropped them off when we got back, my patience was very thin. I had to go right home and take a nap.

It might not be the best course of action - but I am just not going to deal with it. No confrontations. No discussions. Nothing. This is because I know her and she has been confronted about her behavior before. She always turns it back on the other person and ignores the criticism. It's just.... not worth it anymore, to me.

I will get through this month and these social obligations with her. I will smile and genuinely have a nice time (she DOES have redeeming qualities - but I am just over her flaws, they are too hurtful). And then I will just stop making plans with her and limit contact.

So overall - the weekend was lovely and fine. But it drained me and my energy. So over it :D


I also wanted to assure you all that I am not going to go hog-wild every weekend (I definitely take Gwen's comment on my last post to heart!). I know I cannot continue to be up 2 pounds every weekend and spend the week chipping away at that. Definitely not my plan. These two weekends in a row have been outliers in my normal life.

I am STILL at a very low weight. I have maintained below 130 for well over a year. I have maintained at under 125 for several months. Definite downward trend which I am proud of. :)

My goal of 119 isn't exactly necessary. But I want it. And I want to have this goal to ensure I *don't* super overdo it in these busy, social weeks leading up to my wedding. If I have a very lofty goal, it means I am going to be stricter than if my mindset was JUST to maintain my weight. I don't want to slip up to 130 (my dress might not fit if I do!).

So no worries, my dears, I am well on track and focused here!

Love and light <3


  1. Ugh - I have someone in my life like that too. Just ignore her and hope she goes away. She sounds like a narcissist, and confrontations with people like that never go well because it's never *their* fault.

    And congrats on your weight maintenance!

  2. I'm sorry you had such a hard time dealing with this obnoxious person. Just remember, she is not important in your life. You have done a wonderful job with your weight and if you have maintained for a year you are doing fantastic! I hope you can make the 119 for your wedding. It is a day when you want to look your absolute best.

  3. I dislike drama and confrontations too. Nicely handled. It is draining though. Keep on keepin'

  4. My only worry is that one day you won't be able to contain yourself anymore and you'll just snap. At your friend or at Chris or whoever. Not advocating confrontation, but maybe you should have a conversation? Either way, it is of course up to you.

  5. I think when we get to a certain age, the drama of a confrontation just isn't worth it. It really doesn't serve a purpose and friendships rarely survive brutal honesty like that anyway. That woman is an energy vampire and it's time to just let go. I think you're making the right decision.

    It's obvious from your posts that you're not drinkin' and eatin' it up every weekend. I really dislike people who think the ONLY time you should stray from plans is if it's the "once in a lifetime" stuff. Obviously pick and choose when you are going to sway from perfection. I think you've struck a good balance. Summers are tough when you're on the go and so much going on. Enjoy it...and just know that it means you have to be that much better during the week and once fall hits.


  6. I think you plan is very sound, sweetie. Why give her any (artificial) ammunition. Just slowly wean yourself away from her. See her at social gatherings; fine. Do things together? Yeah no. She's lost that right!

    If people aren't held accountable for their negative actions, there is no hope of them ever stopping them. Yes, perhaps you are taking a passive approach to that, but as long as you do remove her from your inner circle, so to speak, it will effectively cut off her ability to hurt you. Just remember, if she says hurtful things in the future about you...she does it to all. AND everyone knows it. It will never reflect negatively on you; only on her.

    Sorry she drained you on your fun weekend!