The other night I got together with a bunch of girls for a girls night/craft night. I didn't have any crafts to do, some girls made necklaces and others crocheted, stuff like that. I just wanted to go because I hadn't seen people in a while because of my ear infection!
I had a nice time but there was one conversation that made me feel awkward! Up until that conversation, I had been energetically involved in all the conversation. But then I knew it was my time to shut up.
The dreaded weight conversation.
Lots of talk about how pants didn't fit anymore, about having to wear sweatpants, about weight gained, about going up sizes in clothing, etc. Talk about going on cleanses, which have become a weird thing in my friend group. Three days of nothing but vegetables and vegetable soup, juice.
And here I am, making a conscious decision to maintain a couple pounds higher to make sure my menstrual cycle continues as normal!
I don't ever get myself involved in those conversations, I don't offer advice anymore, nothing. I've learned that people don't actually want to hear about the realities of weight loss or maintaining a healthy weight, not until they're actually ready for it.
Once a friend actually said to me, "I hate you a little bit." in reference to my weight. (She's more of an acquaintance connected to the group, not a close friend of mine... But a close friend of mine did agree with her!) I said, jokingly, but truthfully too, "But I don't eat bread!!!" and we laughed and they started talking about how they would never give up bread.
I don't ever want to invite even superficial hate. I didn't want to drive attention to the fact that I was the only one in that room that had been the same weight for years. Lots of my friends cycle dramatically in their weight (which I worry about, because losing 15 pounds and gaining 10, losing 10 gaining 15, etc., is such a strain on the body).
So, awkward. Wanting to share what I've learned but knowing it's not welcome. Wanting to help but knowing it will come off poorly. But less awkward since I've learned to just not contribute to the conversation, though it is strange for me to remain quiet (I'm a talker!).
Weigh in today: 122.8! Nice- a slight drop even though I wasn't trying for it. Definitely noticing that my weight normally fluctuates between 122 and 124 when I'm just eating how I normally eat, without actively trying to lose weight and without overindulging. I can live with it!
Just don't put non-food items in your mouth/body, ok?? Mostly whole, clean foods and you won't fall into this cyclical trap of physical food addiction (emotional addiction is another thing entirely!).
Ok- off to walk the dog. Namaste <3
I've found that when people refer to my weight like your friend did that they somehow think it just has happened automatically, like the long hours of running, weight lifting, etc never happen. it really is calories in, calories out. It's that simple. But people want to believe in magic.
ReplyDeleteOh yes... seeing those around you "dieting" then gaining over and over again. Unless I'm asked now, I don't say a thing. Junk food - interesting article. I love that processed food has gone from my life. I love that I can walk past all the food places and not crave a single thing.
ReplyDeleteEven if I am asked, I will very rarely talk about it. The person has to be REALLY serious to get me to talk at all. In my earlier days, I was foolish enough to answer (often in depth) when people asked. If someone really pushes now, but I think it is going to bite me in the butt if I really answer, the most I will say is that I am careful in what I eat.
ReplyDeleteThe bread topic annoys the daylights out of me. It is as if bread is more important than they are. My life, my quality of life, the life of my family, is far more important than bread . . .