Life stuff still kind of stinks - so I did something I haven't done in a loooong time. I went out and danced as hard as I possibly could!!
I have a lot of frustrations and negative feelings. Things have been building and building and I've been feeling stuck and trapped and totally down.
I knew Skrillex and other DJs were coming to a local venue (the Armory) and some good friends of mine were going. Last minute, I said "to hell" with financial worries for the moment and we bought tickets. Sooo glad I did!!
What a great release!
What a great release!
Five hours of music (most of which was really good, though the first DJ set, Milo and Otis, wasn't my cup of tea - the majority of it was super entertaining and gripping). Five hours of sweaty dancing. Five hours of being with Chris and my friends, carefree and grinning.
It's the most natural thing in the world to move your body to music. And it's a great reminder of how connected I've gotten to my body in the past few years. I used to never dance. I used to be really self-conscious when I danced. But now? I like my body. I like how my body can move. I love letting a DJ make some beats and drive the way I dance. I like dancing with a big crowd of people!
I was just another half-naked sweaty human dancing in a crowd of other half-naked sweaty humans. It was nice to not feel out of place! It was nice to be in the moment. It was nice to be lost for a while.
Of course, I still have all the problems I had BEFORE the show, but I feel a little looser, a little easier, a little more relaxed. It was a much needed reprieve.
And I think the release, the relaxation, the reprieve stems from the fact that I felt young and free in that way that the world still has endless possibilities. Being able to move my body, trust my body, not be ashamed of my body, that's all a big part of that.
Onward to today (up and at them early - 9 AM - for having been out till about 1:30 last night! but I am feeling energized!).
Oh yeah, the dancing sweated me down to 123 today, hahha, might not last, but I plan to eat clean and stay active today, so maybe this is the start of getting back to the range I like?
Ok - life calls.