Wednesday, June 4, 2014

The Liberation of a Party

Life stuff still kind of stinks - so I did something I haven't done in a loooong time. I went out and danced as hard as I possibly could!!

I have a lot of frustrations and negative feelings. Things have been building and building and I've been feeling stuck and trapped and totally down.

I knew Skrillex and other DJs were coming to a local venue (the Armory) and some good friends of mine were going. Last minute, I said "to hell" with financial worries for the moment and we bought tickets. Sooo glad I did!!

What a great release!

Five hours of music (most of which was really good, though the first DJ set, Milo and Otis, wasn't my cup of tea - the majority of it was super entertaining and gripping). Five hours of sweaty dancing. Five hours of  being with Chris and my friends, carefree and grinning.

It's the most natural thing in the world to move your body to music. And it's a great reminder of how connected I've gotten to my body in the past few years. I used to never dance. I used to be really self-conscious when I danced. But now? I like my body. I like how my body can move. I love letting a DJ make some beats and drive the way I dance. I like dancing with a big crowd of people!

I was just another half-naked sweaty human dancing in a crowd of other half-naked sweaty humans. It was nice to not feel out of place! It was nice to be in the moment. It was nice to be lost for a while.

Of course, I still have all the problems I had BEFORE the show, but I feel a little looser, a little easier, a little more relaxed. It was a much needed reprieve.

And I think the release, the relaxation, the reprieve stems from the fact that I felt young and free in that way that the world still has endless possibilities. Being able to move my body, trust my body, not be ashamed of my body, that's all a big part of that.

Onward to today (up and at them early - 9 AM - for having been out till about 1:30 last night! but I am feeling energized!).

Oh yeah, the dancing sweated me down to 123 today, hahha, might not last, but I plan to eat clean and stay active today, so maybe this is the start of getting back to the range I like?

Ok - life calls.

Namaste <3


  1. See why dancing is my main form of exercise? Love it, love my personalized/custom play list, love everything about it. :)

  2. I know you have some job, etc issues going on that are tough, but I wanted to mention that because you have the rest of your life in good order, it probably isn't sinking you as much as it would if you were unhappy with yourself. Your clothes fit. You have things to wear to interviews. You are healthy. You feel good mentally and physically. You are taking care of yourself and have self satisfaction. You can go climb mountains or dance all night, with no problems. There is feeling down and then there is FEELING DOWN. My guess is you are the lower case (overall) and not in a sucking vortex. It is easier to deal with a few things you need to fix/find/solve than feeling like everything in your life is negative. So all your work allows you to work through this stage on as even of a keel as possible. I think this is where the real learning/growth of maintenance occurs.

  3. I definitely hear this - and I suppose why I am sharing that I am having a tough time IS to let people see that it isn't destroying me like it has in the past. I'm not gaining weight, I'm not floundering, I am moving forward and trying to do things that are good for my life and my soul. And being able to do this DID take work, as you mentioned... lots of work, but it was so worth it because I think I am going to come out the other side here :)

  4. I love this! And I love to dance even though my body isn't as limber as yours....wish we had a dance club like that somewhere in these parts, but I pretty certain there is not. So my crazy dancing is saved for the bathroom...and less intense Zumba classes..haha!! So glad you got out there and just moved your body. :)

  5. Dancing is an awesome way to let off some steam ... glad you found it to be a great release. I tend to like cranking up the jukebox and dancing in warmer weather but it's heading into winter here so I run after work 2-3 times during the week. Once I get home I'm snuggling up in warm sweats for the night.