Friday, February 21, 2014

Thoughts on therapy

Well, I spent the hour kind of filling the therapist in on my whole background, from my parents' deaths and all my coping mechanisms to current day stresses, etc. I also spent most of the hour crying... It felt therapeutic to just tell someone all this stuff that is always rattling around in my head, never giving me a moment of peace.

The lady was really nice and I'm going to go back next week, see if I can make some changes in my daily levels of anxiety.

We talked about medication, but she said she would suggest an antidepressant because they also treat anxiety... But I'm not ready to be taking a pill every day and becoming reliant on it for my mood stability. I was more interested in taking something only when the anxiety got too bad, but obviously those are more dangerous/addictive drugs, so I get it. I'm  willing at this point to just see if therapy makes a difference over time.

So, all in all, a good experience. It was more of an intro session, so I'm interested to see how I can make progress.

I didn't blog yesterday because I was actually a bit wiped out, emotionally!!

My weight is up higher than it's been in almost two years- 126. I know why.. The past two nights, I went off paleo and ate grain-based snacks at friends' houses.

Trying to get a handle on my bad choices and make only good ones today. Focusing on today and then I'll focus on tomorrow, tomorrow.

We are going hiking tomorrow, as well. 

I want to be healthy, inside and out.



  1. Glad the first session went well!

  2. I sometimes think I could eat the wrong foods and then sit in front of the mirror and watch myself swell. There is a big advantage ( in my opinion) in being at a low weight. We are more aware of those extra pounds. Glad you feel good about your appt. I agree it is very helpful to have someone to REALLY talk to.

  3. So glad to hear it went well, and that you were able to share your "stuff". I agree with not being dependent on a drug for your mood, and I do hope just being able to talk it out will help tons with your anxiety.

    Have a fantastic hike tomorrow!!

  4. I agree with Vickie. When you don't weigh much to begin with it feels like one or two pounds really show. Yay for hiking!

  5. Agreed Jeanette, take things one day at a time :)

  6. I'd suggest talking more about the medication with your therapist and whether she thinks it would be a short term thing or a long term thing. Depression and anxiety are a chemical imbalance, while some people (like me) need to be on medication forever because something chemically is broken, most people only need to get their brain chemicals nudged back into working order and that's what the meds do. Some times it can reset itself but if it's been going on long term for you then you may really benefit from a little nudge :)

    1. I am a long term meds person too. The change it has made in my life (and therefore the lives of my family) is huge. Again, I personally think meds always need to be regulated by a psychiatrist. It is very nice to live with anxiety under control and no rumination. When I have a few bad days in a row, it is the exception, and I know something is wrong. My youngest child is 16; she does not remember me any other way. My 20 year old has very vague memories. My 24 year old does remember a very fat and anxiety ridden mom. I wish I had gotten help years before I did so he could have always had the same mom the girls did. Some of us need help to balance. It is not a weakness. It is a medical need. And I am blessed to live in an age where help is available. I had a great aunt who really suffered.