Just a quick follow up to my last post...
I have no intention of giving up my paleo template :)
It is an undeniably perfect way for me to eat - my body responds well to it with amazing energy levels, reduced inflammation, overall better general health.
The reason I am looking into help for my control issues/obsessive behaviors is because I have this idea that is is possible to live in a more balanced, peaceful way.
That balance is STILL eating the way I currently eat (clean, paleo, moderate) BUT without all the stress, obsession and strict control that I must currently employ TO eat that way.
This way of eating does not come naturally to me. I must remind myself constantly how to eat, what to do. I keep tabs on my phone, I let my daily weight affect my mood, etc. I think about weight and food and my body so much of the day.
I believe total health resides in a space where there is peace with food (and food how *I* want - clean, paleo, etc).
And, please, the takeaway message here IS NOT about food. It is about my anxiety, stress and grief. The way I deal with those things is by maintaining a death grip control over my body and my food. That's not right and that's not healthy.
The goal here isn't just to maintain a healthy weight (though that is PART of the goal), the goal is to find overall health... that includes everything, including HOW I maintain a healthy weight, my mindset, my ability to be at peace.
This is all exploration, I am not someone easily led astray from what I know is right (I am insanely strong minded) but I am also very open to listening and learning from other viewpoints.
This is a crazy journey, this life.
Namaste.
Thanks for that explanation :) I hadn't thought you would change from paleo but I understand now that you just want to not obsess about it. I like that you are talking about this - surely that is the whole point of blogging to say what you feel :)
ReplyDeleteLooking for simplicity, dialing down clutter, organization, avoiding drama, living very peacefully are all phases I see people go through as they hit a certain level of maintenance. It is about having the inner and the outer balance. It is also sort of a zen thing. We all tend to work on it at different levels. I am not talking about the people who sort of throw up their hands and say enough with food and exercise, I have to get back to my real life. I am talking about the people who realize the food and the fat are the parts mostly easily seen but there are other parts too. And then while they keep their very good food/exercise habits, start simplifying sort of everywhere to live as stress free as possible. I had major clutter work to do in the beginning. Boundaries and priorities were big ones for me (to reduce anxiety) when the last of my weight was off. Communication was another big one. All kinds of things were feeding into my anxiety. Figuring out how to sleep was a huge one early on (major nightmares that really fed my anxiety, or were a product of my fear, which ever way you want to think about it). I always think it is a very good sign for long term maintenance when people begin the work you describe.
ReplyDeleteYour Namaste signature always makes me wonder if you used to comment on Angry Fat Girls blog that was started by four friends years ago. It might be before your time, I can't even remember how long they have been gone. But there was a Namaste signature on a regular commenter, there too.
ReplyDeleteI wasn't a regular blogger/commenter till about 2 years ago!
DeleteI thought it was too long ago, but have wondered, so finally asked. That whole blog including archives is gone. There are a lot of old bloggers like that.t JuJu was one of the all time greats and she (and sadly her archives) are long gone too.
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