Tuesday, February 4, 2014

Honesty time!

So, as you all well know, I have been stressing and struggling a bit lately (it was pointed out that I might be having some emotional reactions to the whole "almost dying" craziness... I could definitely see that).

Add to that- Chris is out of town this week.

I'm not in the best space.

So I did something I normally wouldn't have- walked down to my neighborhood bar (it was its grand opening actually!) where several people I knew were gathering for happy hour to try it out. I was just craving friendly human interaction. I told myself on the walk I wouldn't drink - I'd had a really great, healthy day eating-wise and exercise-wise. Didn't want to screw it up.

But I had two beers. Then my friend invited me to dinner with her and another girl - I was already feeling loose, so I went and had a GREAT time laughing and talking with the girls. But I drank two more beers and ate a sandwich.

So my night was fun and relaxing and much needed. I forgot my stress for many hours and fell asleep fast. I laughed a ton - in a really real and deep way (sometimes laughter can be dry). I connected with others in a way I haven't been able to in a few weeks.

I kind of.... felt like myself.

The things I consumed didn't need to happen, though. (Though I imagine the effects of the alcohol are what allowed me to completely relax and enjoy my evening- I've been so strict and ascetic for a while now, and with nothing but things like baths or walks to de-stress... eventually the stress builds UP). Like I said, I'm not in a great place mentally so I'm not always making the BEST decision. I'm so painfully human.

New day, moving on. Picking up the healthy behaviors right where I left off. 

That's my reality.



  1. Don't beat yourself up over this. We all need days like that, to unwind and just enjoy the company of others. :)

  2. Yep, sometimes, we just mentally need an evening like this. I'm glad you had a light hearted evening with friends and got a good nights sleep. Here's to a day of "healthy behaviors" :) I hope it's a better, stress-free one.

    1. And 9.5% ABV....yeah, no wonder you were feeling "loose"...hahaha!

  3. I don't think you should fixate on the food/drink last night. Fixate on the fact that you felt like YOU. It wasn't the food and drink that made you feel that way. It was friends and letting loose. Sometimes it's needed.

  4. How cool you had a nice evening? I see no problem at all with what you did - just don't do that all the time :) Life is for living and there has to be a balance between totally healthy eating and being part of the human race (ie, having a drink or two and having some fun). I'm glad you enjoyed yourself.

  5. You mean you're not perfect 24/7????!! Jeanette, it was one night. Out of many more to come where you'll be consistent. And I'm glad you felt more like yourself because you need that now.