Hell, even in bed the other night, I told Chris that I missed our "bad behavior" earlier this year (where I was putting on a couple of pounds because we were hanging out with friends at restaurants and bars and gatherings and just throwing caution to the wind).... it was pleasurable to be bad like that, IN THE MOMENT. But the next day, and all the days after an indulgence, I was left feeling gross, groggy, bloated and a little worthless.
So what's truly worth it?
Literally the morning after I confided that to Chris, I had this wake up call:
I had to bring the kid I am babysitting to his swim lesson. And I had to wear my suit and get in the water with him because you can have before/after play in the pool but there would be no teacher.
I flashed back to the last time I babysat, about ten years ago and at my fattest (I remember a kid saying my tummy was fluffy like his fat moms ughhhh) and how I would have been HORRIFIED to wear a swimsuit at a crowded pool while babysitting-- but it would of kind of been part of my job.
What a relief yesterday to just take off my shirt and shorts, jump in and have fun!!
There were no seconds of hesitation. There was no looking around to see who was looking. There was no planning to get under water completely as fast as possible so no one would see my body. There was no cringing about the cute lifeguard who had to watch us.
There was just... life.
There were no seconds of hesitation. There was no looking around to see who was looking. There was no planning to get under water completely as fast as possible so no one would see my body. There was no cringing about the cute lifeguard who had to watch us.
There was just... life.
This is life after weight loss and its SO WORTH IT!
And these are the things I have to think about when I start to falter.
I hope you think about it, too!
Namaste <3
I hope you think about it, too!
Namaste <3
Great post Jeanette. I am struggling to get on track, but your posts inspire me. Glad to hear you are doing well.
ReplyDeleteI huge puffy heart you! Umm, is it strange that I wish I could be at your wedding? (Whoa, that came off as super creepy, super stalkerish. Not my intention, sorry!)
ReplyDeleteIt's not!! Hahaha, I am actually insanely excited to share my wedding and wedding dress with all my bloggy friends!
DeleteAbsolutely worth it!
ReplyDeleteI have found, for me, even a tiny bit of grains or sugar (or artificial sugar), and the cravings return. So you might want to think about that, and even about perhaps some hidden grains/sugar working its way back in your diet. Because the 3-4 days of cravings after even the tiniest of slips just.isn't.worth.it. :)
ReplyDeletehave a great weekend!
It is impossible to explain to someone who is suffocating under extra pounds and mired in the muck of recreational eating and inactivity HOW MUCH BETTER LIFE IS at your correct weight, in a properly nourished and exercised body; how much better life is when you are in CONTROL of your moods and eating. There is no way to put it into words. If my "today self" could go back to October 2007 and talk to my "fat self," fat self would think today self was full of it.
ReplyDeleteSuch a poignant post! And that right there is what it is ALL ABOUT!
ReplyDeleteSarah
www.thinfluenced.com
Jeanette - I used to enjoy drinking alcohol. Never to the point of getting drunk, but a couple of glasses socially. Then, New Year's Day 2012 I woke up after NYEve looking like I'd been punched about the face/eyes and feeling SO yuck. Foggy brain, sore, stuffed head, ringing in my ears...was this the way I wanted to spend the first day of a new year??? Hell no! I pulled out my mom's 30 year old juicer and started juicing celery, carrot and apple every morning, and I stopped drinking alcohol. Since then, I've had an alcoholic drink maybe 3-4 times, never red wine (it affects me the worst) and every time I stop at just one because I don't want to ever feel like that again...sure, sometimes I miss not joining in when at a dinner party or watching my husband's band play but the feeling that being in control gives me is second to none.
ReplyDeleteSorry about the rant. xx
Well, thank you for the rant! It's been a slow process learning about alcohol and moderation -- I never even started drinking till I was in my mid-20s, and went through the super indulgence phase pretty late in life (whereas most people drink themselves silly in college). The past few weeks with barely any drinks have been AMAZING.
Delete