Monday, December 10, 2012

Not wanting to give in

I have had thoughts about not updating this blog.

I really don't want to be accountable anymore!

I want to sleep all day, eat whatever tastes good, stop cleaning the house and not worry about the dog anymore.

I don't think I will do any of these things, but I have to admit - it is something a part of me wants.

I got home today from another terrible and draining day at work and immediately fell asleep. I am exhausted all the time.

So stressed about the job situation.... I lose my job in three weeks and other than a four week teaching job, I have no prospects. This stresses me out intensely. Job stress on top of grief and moving and dealing with a dog that requires more energy than I would have on my best day....

Makes me wish I was the kind of person who could just give up.

Ugh.

Going to try not to go silent and fall into these destructive wants.

5 comments:

  1. Everything i go to write sounds trite, but i just wanted to say you're doing so well holdly it all together. Try not to be so hard on yourself and if ut helps give yourself permission to 'give up' for a day or two.
    All the best,
    Vicki x

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  2. Quitting's not an option, kid. Google a page of Winston Churchill quotes, lace up your boots and hit life hard. If you go silent, I will personally hunt you down... ;)

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  3. I'm glad you're not the type to just give up. You're really handling everything A LOT better than you think you are. Be kind to yourself and try not to stress too much.

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  4. I'll be with Norma looking for you. Keep moving forward.

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  5. Don't you dare. I know the Lake George/Adirondacks area very well. I will find you! Hehe.

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