Wow, not a relaxing weekend.
The crowning moment was when I woke up sobbing and sick due to food poisoning early Sunday morning.
And here I am, trying desperately to feel like there is no cosmic plan to make this time in my life suck donkey balls. It's getting harder!!
Tough weekend with Chris. I have no energy by the time he comes home on Friday night. By then, it's been five days of being alone, being depressed, being overwhelmed, taking care of the animals, working 8 hours a day, cleaning house and trying to cook/eat right. I'm at the end of my rope and when he comes home, I just want to hand the reins over and crawl under a blanket and REST.
Really struggling.
Eating was not good this weekend. Didn't weigh myself mostly because this morning was crazy and sad and partly because I don't want to know.
My Saturday night indulgence was thrown up during the food poisoning episode though :( I haven't been that sick in a limb time... My stomach seized up completely and my back ached insanely.. Terrible. My stomach was sour all Sunday because of it.
I'm in the field now for work till Wednesday... It's a nice break from the lab, but I feel all discombobulated, my schedule is thrown all out of whack. Koda has to get left alone for a longer period than normal... Hope he's alright!
So there's life. Still hard. Being mentally healthy us a bigger struggle than physically right now. Going to keep trying, giving up isn't an option, even though I've never been so sad and exhausted.
Up and down...quite a roller coaster you're on. Hang in there and just keep taking it one day at a time. ((HUGS))
ReplyDeleteYeah... it is this roller coaster that is killing me. If everything were just evenly a little sucky, I could handle it... but I am having some incredible highs and some very dark lows. I feel so jumbled! One day at a time is definitely my mantra.
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