Sunday, July 22, 2012

Carrying my old weight

I am packing for next week's trip to British Columbia. There is a 50 pound weight limit for bags, so I have been weighing myself and then re-weighing while holding (semi)packed bags to see where I am at.

I packed my hiking backpack. In the middle of the day, I was reading at about 126 on the scale. I picked up the backpack and I weighed in at 141. So a 15 pound bag (ideal for the plane!)... then I thought about it for a moment.

141.

I was weighing in at 141 at the start of the year.

As I held this 15 pound bag (which felt insanely more heavy than I thought 15 lbs should feel like!), I realized, I was carrying that same amount of weight (or more, because I was up to 147) on me last year.

No wonder I felt tired.

Big surprise the hiking was more difficult.

That bag, that 15 pounds.... it was HEAVY. It was bulky. That was on my body!

It felt like those moments on the reality shows where they show lumps of yellow fat or make the people hold weights equal to what they lost. I always thought they were being over-dramatic. They weren't. It almost made me cry that I had put my body through that, made it carry so much unnecessary weight (I know 15 pounds isn't a lot for some... but my hips and my knees felt it, my energy felt it).

I'm glad I am on the path I am on now. I was glad I could put that bag down at the end of the day, that that weight isn't a part of me, not anymore.

Namaste.

2 comments:

  1. Ooooh, you've made me sit up, take notice and think a bit.

    The last time I was out on site (deepest Southeast Asia in the middle of the hot, dry season), I was digging in a fairly large(ish) pit with a rickety bamboo ladder for access. All in all, it nearly killed me. A combination of the ever-present dust, oppressive heat, the daily traveling to even get to site, bending over in a confined area trying to make sure my bulk didn't accidentally damage surrounding finds, and... that blasted ladder. I was way too embarrassed to admit I couldn't handle things and would not give in, but I really hurt, all the time, and I felt permanently tired out.

    Working on that particular site wouldn't be a walk in the park even now... but when I look back, I weighed over a hundred pounds more then than I do now.

    And I somehow carried that blubber around with me every single day? For years? Wow, how did I ever do it?

    It really would be an interesting challenge to load up a rucksack with 100lbs and see just how far I could take it. Thanks for making me think.

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  2. It's all relative, Jeanette -- maybe 15 pounds wouldn't be noticeable (in appearance or how a person feels) if it's the difference between 250 and 265, but I'm sure the difference between 125 & 140 is MAJOR, as the difference between 145 & 160 would be for me. I feel once we're at our correct weight (that is the one where we feel strong and energetic eating proper amounts of whole foods and body fat % is at the right place), even 5 pounds makes a difference in how we look, how our clothes fit, how we feel. There's a much smaller window of wiggle room. Every time I heave a 30 pounds bag of dog food up off the lowest shelf at the pet store and throw it over my shoulder and realize I used to carry around a little more than TWICE THAT MUCH on my body, every day for a decade (plus 50 more for the 18 months of pregnancies), I am sickened and astonished. When I've had to wear a 40 lb weighted vest for workouts and instantly every movement takes so much effort and I'm exhausted so quickly, and I think I had to carry almost twice that much on my body every day for a decade, I'm blown away. It's good to be reminded. :)

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