Hiatus and promises

So there will be radio silence on this blog (or at least only short, sporadic updates) for the next two weeks, starting tomorrow morning!

I am going to a wedding in NYC this weekend and then heading to British Columbia for vacation!

Pretty much super amped about both things :)

I make a promise to myself and to all of you that I will do my best to stay on the right track. I will maintain thoughtfulness and a mostly-paleo diet when it comes to food. I will purposely exercise (whether hiking, campsite yoga, or a quick hotel workout) as much as possible. I will move my body, feed it good fuel, and enjoy being fit and healthy to the fullest.

This vacation is not an excuse to eat, eat, eat. It is not a vacation from living well.

As a reference point, just now I weighed in at 127.5 (that is at 9 PM, after eating dinner and drinking a glass of water!). So I hope to be right around there when I come back :D

On the flip side, I promise to enjoy my vacation, my freedom from worry, and my exploration of a new place COMPLETELY. I will enjoy a beer at the brew pub we are staying at. I will sleep in if the day calls for it. I will be relaxed!

That said, I will sign out for the moment, and wish you all many happy days and smiles!

Potatoes and Hives

So I ate clean and normal and within my calories yesterday.

Then I went over to a friend's house in the evening (one of my favorites friends in the world, and I won't get to see her again till after vacation) and hung out, watching Wrath of Khan (haha).

But then they got hungry.

They all (my friend, her husband, his brother) wanted to go out to eat at this super awesome restaurant and the brother offered to pay. Chris and I decided to go, get an appetizer, and keep enjoying the nice times. This restaurant is one of the best in Albany, with fresh food and great flavors and super fun ambiance. I didn't want to skip out!

I totally overate. I had a drink. Ate an extra 1000 calories for my day (oof). I ate off-paleo (a little bit). I had some potato....

And got hives!!!!

This is the third time since I have gone paleo and eaten a white potato that I have gotten hives. Third times the charm, no more white potatoes for me!

Going off paleo with flour or rice doesn't give me hives, but the white potatoes sure do! Some of my friends who have gone gluten free or low carb commiserated with me, saying potatoes affected them similarly.

Lesson learned. Potatoes = inflammation and uncomfortable times!

So, I cheated. Overate. BUT had a super nice time, a really funny dinner with friends, and an amazing night that made up for all the sadder nights I have been having traveling.

THIS is why I don't splurge on the road, go to the buffets or indulge when the food/company isn't worth it. So that, when it is a dinner with awesome friends I love and food that is AMAZING, I can indulge.

I don't feel bad about it, at all :)

I will pick the special occasions that merit my slip-ups.

And today I am back to the normal eating schedule, if not a little stricter because of last night.

Have a great day, friends!

Deleted my last post...

Felt like I was whining!

In a nutshell: this area of NY stinks (bad food, cultural deadzone) and I miss Albany (which ROCKS) and Chris (who also rocks!). I am stuck in my hotel room because my coworkers need to use the car, too, and they eat at crappy/unhealthy places I don't want to go.

And I am eating a little bit too much in response to this situation. Should not have bought that chocolate bar! I worked out after working outside all day. I doubt I have ruined all my progress, haha. Staying pretty paleo. Working on staying positive.

So I just reduced pages of whining down to two paragraphs, yay! :D

In other news: I don't know if I have mentioned it on my blog, but I am going on vacation next week! A REAL vacation (which I haven't been on in ages) to British Columbia. I will obviously probably not be posting while I am on vacation (unless I have free wifi in a hotel and can't sleep :D).

Here are some highlights we have planned:

Vancouver: city parks, fresh market, Aquarium, Anthropology museum

Hiking! We have a three day camping trip about 4 hours north of Vancouver

Squamish: brew pub and hiking the mountains right next to town

Pacific Rim National Park: beaches, kayaking, hiking to see some really old redwoods and rain forests

Victoria: tea houses and a butterfly garden!

Soooooo, yeah, I am pretty excited. Just me and Chris, kind of romantical and all, hehe.

Some positiveness to end my post, a great big ray of sunshine at the end of this tunnel!

Namaste <3

It's a dirty job...

But someone's got to do it!!

That's me at work, digging in 90 degree heat! Hot, yes? :D I am liking the shoulder muscles/bones I can see in this picture!

I am back on the road, traveling without Chris till Wednesday. Dealing with it better this week, because I get to be with him for the second half of the week when we are both local!

I decided not to go out to dinner this week while on the road. There are no good restaurant options, I would spend money on food I don't really want, and I CERTAINLY don't want to hit up the buffets (Casino Buffet and Indian Buffet) that my co-workers like to go to!

I have lots of food from home and some food I got from the supermarket to plan for my days here:

Tonight's dinner: roasted chicken breast, roasted sweet potatoes, spinach salad with egg/almonds/cranberries, and dark chocolate

Tuesday's breakfast: almond milk yogurt with berries and some natural sausage

Tuesday's lunch/snacks: roasted chicken and sweet potato leftovers, roasted beets, lara bar, banana with almond butter

Tuesday's dinner: garden veggie and tomato soup, natural sausage, same spinach salad as tonight, dark chocolate

Wednesday breakfast: coconut milk yogurt with berries and natural sausage

Wednesday lunch/snacks: (this can be smaller since it will only be a half day of work) banana with almond butter, berry smoothie, pistachios, leftover sweet potatoes

SO... there are a lot of repeats. But I only get 40 bucks a day to eat, and I don't want to go wild getting tons of different things (I get to pocket the money I don't spend). It is also hard to keep veggies yummy in my cooler. Not my most well rounded couple of days, but I am working with what I've got. I will be home Wednesday night, the day we get our farmshare, and I will eat veggies, veggies, and MORE veggies ;)

Ahhh, traveling for work. I am looking forward to a point in my life where I don't do this anymore. But I get to workout all day with the digging and the screening and the carrying equipment, so I won't complain right now.

Life is strange!

Hope you are all enjoying your strange lives :D

Peace and light to you!

Carrying my old weight

I am packing for next week's trip to British Columbia. There is a 50 pound weight limit for bags, so I have been weighing myself and then re-weighing while holding (semi)packed bags to see where I am at.

I packed my hiking backpack. In the middle of the day, I was reading at about 126 on the scale. I picked up the backpack and I weighed in at 141. So a 15 pound bag (ideal for the plane!)... then I thought about it for a moment.

141.

I was weighing in at 141 at the start of the year.

As I held this 15 pound bag (which felt insanely more heavy than I thought 15 lbs should feel like!), I realized, I was carrying that same amount of weight (or more, because I was up to 147) on me last year.

No wonder I felt tired.

Big surprise the hiking was more difficult.

That bag, that 15 pounds.... it was HEAVY. It was bulky. That was on my body!

It felt like those moments on the reality shows where they show lumps of yellow fat or make the people hold weights equal to what they lost. I always thought they were being over-dramatic. They weren't. It almost made me cry that I had put my body through that, made it carry so much unnecessary weight (I know 15 pounds isn't a lot for some... but my hips and my knees felt it, my energy felt it).

I'm glad I am on the path I am on now. I was glad I could put that bag down at the end of the day, that that weight isn't a part of me, not anymore.

Namaste.

125.2 (No Sacrifices!!!)

Love seeing that on the scale. I love that this is working for me. I wish I was more articulate and could clearly convey how much this means to me...

I am eating normally. Normal portions. Good food. It doesn't rule my life.

I am active, every day, for lots of the day. It is as much a part of my life as breathing!

This normalcy is helping me stay at this weight. Eating well is normal. Being active is normal. It's not a struggle. When did this happen???

I want to detail two examples of moments where I realized this has become my life, where "healthiness" isn't a fad or a sacrifice... it is me.

On the food side:

I went to an Indian Buffet with co-workers/friends. In the past, I would have eaten two huge plates and a third smaller plate FILLED with delicious noms. I would have eaten as much as anyone at the table, even the bigger guys. Buffets would trigger insane eating for me, wanting to eat as much as humanly possible.

This time, I was sitting next to a friend who is about 5 foot and 90 pounds (she eats instinctively and stays slender... she eats what she wants, but listens to her body). I ate very similarly to her! I had one normal sized plate of food, then a second plate with four bites of food on it. We both ate till satisfaction, didn't feel bloated or distended after a buffet (a new experience for me).

I felt like I was eating like a "naturally" slender/healthy person. I ate what my body needed, I ate tasty things, but didn't go overboard. I tried to choose paleo options too!

On the activity side:

Like I mentioned, I skipped out on a picnic/wine/play-watching girl's night out that would have kept me out till almost midnight on a work night. I would have eaten after dinner, drank and sat on my but for hours. That's not for me.

Last night, Friday evening, I went out with Chris and four other friends and we did a 15 mile bike ride all over the city, hills and all. We laughed and played and rode around. Active for hours. THAT is the kind of "hanging out" I want to do.. and do! Those are the friends I want to make and keep forever, friends who go bike riding on a Friday night instead of out to the bar.

I love my new normal. I have lots of fun, eat lots of food and laugh lots of laughs. And I don't sacrifice a healthy body for it!!

As a little treat, here is a picture of my crazy dog at the park today:

Namaste!!

Best compliment ever!

So I was making a status for facebook about how I recovered quicker from the festival this year as compared to last year. (Last year I was down with the sickness for almost two weeks! Three days this year is a marked improvement)

A friend responded to the status, saying she was impressed, because it often takes her much longer to recover from the festival (this isn't a sort of hippy-feel good festival... it is all night raging electronic music crazy times). I replied, telling her I drank less and ate better DURING the festival and it helped me recover faster.

Then I got the awesome compliment from her: "I think while the rest of us as getting older, you are getting younger!"

It made me smile :D It felt good!! I FEEL younger than I did at this time last year.

This feeling, that compliment, makes it much easier to be 30 years old this year. I feel all brand new and sparkly!

Namaste <3

Getting back on the horse...

So I had not been to the gym or done a purposeful workout in over a week.

Being on the road, going to the music festival, being sick... all real and valid excuses. But I still didn't feel good about it :(

And it felt like it was going to be SO EASY to just continue on that path... slowly devolving into inactivity and general grumpiness and displeasure with my body.

(I am a few days out from getting my period and I ALWAYS seem to really loathe my body during this time)

I was supposed to go out for a girls night tonight, wine and a play in the park. I hate plays. I don't need wine. I canceled on them and went to the gym instead :D I usually try to be more social than that.... but I didn't feel good about me. I need to feel good inside and out.

Now I have a date to go night bike riding with friends (I like that MUCH MUCH better than wine and sitting in one place for two hours).

I ate roasted chicken and sweet potatoes for dinner with some almond yogurt and berries as dessert.

Stayed totally paleo today.

Got in more purposeful activity today than all last week combined!

It's okay to lose my way once in a while, as long as I can always find my way back! (Thanks Norma, you always inspire me to do what I KNOW is right)

Breathing easier..

My sickness/exhaustion is almost gone. I feel better bodily (though I am still coughing up mucus on a regular basis, it feels like a clearing out rather than a "ohhh damn, I am so sick" kind of thing). I can breathe better and my chest doesn't feel so heavy. There is less dizziness and weakness, as well.

I am home now. Chris is out in Utica. :(

Still haven't figured out how to maintain happiness levels with this traveling for work thing. It definitely affects our relationship. We get sad. This needs work.

Because of the stress of being sick and missing Chris, I have already eaten my day's calories... and it is only 6 PM! I had too much chocolate and used up calories without filling myself up. Yuck. I know I will be hungry later (I am hungry now), but luckily we got our CSA today, so I will be eating farm fresh salad with almost no oil.

Trying to get back on track here. Definitely had a divergence since the weekend. I have never really coped very well with sickness.... there is little motivation to move or eat well. I did WAY better this time than in the past, though. Also: the sickness was over in about a quarter of the time. I am thankful to my strong and healthy body for helping me through this.

I am going to muster up the energy to get to my dad's house tonight, walk the dog and maybe chill out in the AC and watch some TV till bedtime.

Worn down, sick

So, I am paying my debts for partying for three days in a dusty field surrounded by smoke. I have been pretty sick since Sunday afternoon... it has been especially hard on my lungs (which really took a beating this past weekend) and I have been coughing up mucus for over 48 hours. Ugh.

I have also been traveling for work. I have been uncomfortable and kind of sad :(

I ate a cobb salad and butternut squash soup for dinner last night. Alone. In my hotel room.

Trying to stay paleo, even though I wish I had Chris with me and wish I was home, recovering.

Worked outside in the heat yesterday and today. Not good for recovering.

I think my immune system is strong and doing its job, though. I am on the mend, despite being in less-than-ideal conditions for recovery. I am coughing up mucus and slowly feeling better. My appetite is getting better and I feel less dizzy.

In the past, it might have taken me a week in bed to get over sickness (I rarely got sick, but when I did, daaaaamn, it was bad!).

This time, despite being in the heat and having to eat microwaved hotel food, I am already feeling better. I owe it to working on my fitness and keeping a clean diet most of the time. I am hopeful I will feel close to 100% better tomorrow morning.

I went to an Indian buffet tonight. Ate one and a half plates, feel INSANELY full, also had some rice pudding which is decidedly not paleo. Got to get back on track. I just feel a little sad today, it was hard to be 100% perfect.... oh well, not going to dwell on it, just going to do better tomorrow.

Going home tomorrow afternoon... which should make me happy, except for the fact that Chris is coming to the place I am *right now* and staying till Friday. I don't know why our boss is sending us to the same place at different times of the week when she knows we are dating/living together :( I miss him.

100th Post... my insane weekend

Well, where to start?

First, I will say I am surprised I have made it to 100 posts! This blog is really cathartic for me. I've always loved reading blogs, but now, having one of my own... I feel heard and like I am not alone in this crazy mess!

So, my weekend. This will be a little short and sweet, but I wanted to update. Every year, me and my friends go to a music festival called Camp Bisco. It's basically an electronic music festival (with a few other types of music here and there). It's crazy! We go in Thursday morning, set up camp, and live with 20,000 other people for three nights, seeing music from about noon to 4 AM. 

It's a ton of fun. I love spending that much time with my friends, dancing, hearing new music, meeting new people (especially the weirdos!). 

I will talk about the health-related parts of the weekend, since this is what this blog is mostly about!

First: I felt WHOLLY comfortable in my body this weekend. I am the smallest and fittest I have ever been. I wore next-to-nothing all weekend (tiny dresses, sarongs with nothing underneath (haha), short shorts, etc). This festival is a flesh fest, you see nudity on the regular and all the girls are basically in bikinis or lingerie or whatever sexy outfit they like. It felt nice to not feel out of place this year!

Second, other than drinking vodka drinks as my beverage of choice all weekend, I stayed almost 100% paleo (I had some peanuts on the first night). We ate fruit, fruit, fruit and meat all weekend. It was in the 90s, so the fruit was awesome. We had brought lots of meat to grill and mmm, we did! I resisted all the festival food that is sold, that I usually LOVE (late night burritos, quesadillas, gyros, fries, fried dough!) AND I resisted all the non-paleo food my friends brought (goldfish crackers, cookies, cereal bars with chocolate, buns for burgers, etc). I am surprised I did so well at staying paleo, because I was kind of inebriated and usually that makes my inhibitions go down. Not this time!

Also, I definitely did not overeat. We would wake up, have some kind of breakfast in the morning, then start going to see music for the afternoon. We would rally back at camp for dinner sometime in the evening (which was usually just meat for me!). So two meals during the day, one being very light, with some fruit snacking throughout. Add in the alcohol calories... I still probably stayed under calories everyday.

I didn't INTEND to be at/under calories this weekend.... in fact, mentally, I was ready to indulge a little. But the days were full of laughing, friends, music, dancing and crazy crazy crazy times. Food was almost a non-issue.

Imagine that. Food was just food. Something I ate to keep my body energized so that I could continue to live my life and rage the party :D

Food wasn't the focus. I rarely thought about it (other than when I would wake up and be SO HUNGRY because I hadn't eaten in so long).

I just got to live life this weekend as a normal girl. A girl who wasn't self-conscious of her body. A girl who can dance all night. 

Leaving you with some pictures from the festival to give you an idea of what I saw this weekend (there are just the ones from my phone, too lazy to upload the camera just now!):

Skrillex

The Disco Biscuits :D

Brother's Past!!!

In the dance tent

.... !!!!!

So. Quick update before I am off to the festival! Because of my weigh in yesterday (126.2), I decided to weigh myself in this morning after peeing. That's my usual routine, to keep things even.

124.2

!!!!!

Seriously! Under 125! WHAT!

I cannot believe it. Never in my life.

This is my lowest weight EVER as an adult. I don't even know what age I was when I might have weighed this (12?)

I weighed slightly over 147 this past fall (Septemberish).

23 pounds down! I am amazed. It isn't easy to lose weight as you get smaller.... but this has been the easiest weight loss of my life. I eat lots and lots of real food and do things I love (hiking, walking, yoga).

I've been tracking what I eat and staying as paleo as possible. Also, as active as possible. Good formula for me!

I haven't felt deprived. I have been living life pretty damn sweetly, actually. And I am still down in weight because paleo is helping me stay aware of what I put into my body.

Under 125.

Going to have a good weekend :D

Maintaining!!

I finally weighed myself today. I've been nervous to in the past two weeks because my exercise routine has faltered/changed, I had some bad sleep patterns last week, and ate a lot of dark chocolate.

But I tried as best I could to stay Paleo. I tried to be active, even when I was tired.

I weighed in at 126.4 today :D And that was in the middle of the day, after drinking two nalgenes of water and eating lunch! I am pleased as punch :D

I am so happy with this lifestyle I am leading now. I have some wiggle room in my life... if I go a little off-plan, it doesn't ruin my body. Getting in activity whenever I can, fitting in purposeful workouts as much as I can, and not letting some off-paleo eating throw me into a tailspin of indulgence is helping me maintain my weight.

I was scared I wasn't doing enough.

But I am.

And I intend to do more and do better in the future to make sure I don't lose my progress :)

This weekend, starting tomorrow morning, I will be at a music festival. We are bringing lots of food to try and avoid the concession food (apples, watermelon, bananas, dried pineapple, lara bars, sweet potatoes, meat for grilling, almond butter, homemade almond flour muffins, coconut water). I hope to be walking around and/or dancing ALL day EVERY day, so I am not too worried about staying active, hehe.

I will maybe update with some pictures if I have some downtime at the festival, but otherwise, I will wish you all a LOVELY weekend!

Namaste, friends.

Making do..

So we are traveling for work. I am in a kind of no-where town where the food choices are very limited (Italian food, pub food or fast food.... and the grocery stores suck!). We made our chicken lettuce wraps last night, but wanted to mix it up a little tonight. Tried to find somewhere to eat...after 45 minutes, we got frustrated and chose to try and find something at the grocery store.

I've never seen so many carb-laden, chemical-laden options in my life. Sure, there was produce, but I am working with only a microwave in my hotel room right now. Urgh!!

We decided to get steam-fresh vegetables, some olives and roasted garlic from the olive bar and Dinosaur BBQ pulled pork that you heat up in the microwave... the Dino BBQ only had one ingredient I wasn't entirely comfortable with, but in the end, it was the least offensive. Almost every ready-to-eat meal had corn syrup or something equally as gross to me in it.

We walked around for SO LONG. In the past, I would have grabbed a pre-made wrap or a microwaveable   burrito and made a meal of it. I am glad I tried harder. My meal filled me up and contained a lot of things (fats, protein, nutrients) that I needed tonight.

Paleo definitely makes me take a second look at my choices... makes me work harder. Makes me wonder "Do I REALLY want to put that in my body?"

I might be in this area of the state for a number of weeks. We are going to come prepared next time and bring our portable grill so we can have whatever meat and vegetables we want for dinner... not rely on the microwave!!

We made do tonight, looking to do better next time :)

Travel and Paleo

Back on the road for work. Determined to stay paleo, keep my blood sugars stable and stay rested!

I brought breakfast and lunch from home (pre-roasted chicken, sweet potatoes, blueberry almond muffins, and bananas with almond butter!)

Dinner was awesome! We used our chicken and bought tons of veggies, wrapped them up in lettuce with mustard... I ate three huge wraps! Mmm :) Felt good to have so much fiber and nutrients.

Got some sun and activity after work at the local beach/park... The water was warm and awesome!

Planning the same sort of days all the while I travel! Booze and restaurant food doesn't make me feel good about myself. Chris is with me this week and THAT gives me a boost and energy to stay on track :)

The power of sleep!

Last week, I went three days in a row of 5 hours or less of sleep. Not good.

I wholly believe in the restorative power of sleep, a good, restful sleep.

I was turning to coffee (and putting creamer in it, yikes... I don't usually do that so much) and SWEETS  like dark chocolate over and over this past week.

It didn't make me feel good, but those little bursts of caffeine, pleasure and sugar felt so momentarily good, I kept turning to them.

This weekend, Chris and I went to his folks cabin in the Adirondacks, where it was cool and quiet and relaxing. Each night, I slept more than 10 hours. I was fully in a deep and restful sleep, catching up on my lost hours.

No coffee so far today. We did have coconut ice cream because it is so hot out. But I am making a concerted effort to push the sweets and coffee reliance away from me. It will not help me maintain my weight!

I still feel like I need one more good night of sleep before I am back to normal.

The success of my life and health truly relies on the fact that I try to get a good, deep sleep for 7 - 8 hours a night. I wake up eager and ready for each day, not dreading it and looking to outside stimulants or pleasures to get me up.

I often hear/see in paleo contexts that one of their main guidelines is too get restorative sleep (whatever that may mean for you) ... it is a rule right up there with eating non-processed foods and avoiding wheat!

This week/weekend, the reasons for that rule came flooding into view!

Hope everyone is staying cool and enjoying their summer so far... mine has been crazy but fun!

Namaste!

The busy-ness of summer?

Is it in full swing already?

I'm exhausted.

In my earlier post, you know I was exhausted from the weekend. It was a whirlwind.

So, I don't know what drove the madness that led me to suggest a sunrise hike on Wednesday morning in the Adirondacks. Gah.

We camped Tuesday night about 3 miles into the woods, woke up at 3:30 AM and hiked up a mountain (Phelps), watched the birds and the sunrise (it was clouded in), hiked back down, slept an hour and hiked out.

Then we went to a BBQ (where I ate completely normally and paleo, at least!), watched the fireworks from a penthouse porch, then came home.

And in my low socioeconomic neighborhood.... it was madness. Fireworks of all kinds being set off till after midnight. Sometime after midnight, I became... well... enraged. Freaked out. Drove to my dad's house and caught about 4 hours of sleep.

I am beyond exhausted. I want to cry for the fact I have to go to work today (no paid sick time, so I can't afford to not go).

Glad I hiked yesterday, because I am NOT working out today. After work, I am coming home and sleeping. I don't know if it is even possible to fill in the sleep gap that has happened to me. But I am going to try....

Off to work -_-

Typical weekend: BBQ and hiking

Checking in!

Starting with traveling last week, getting a HUGE tattoo on Friday, a loooong BBQ on Saturday and a 14 mile hike up NY's tallest mountain on Sunday... my weekend has been crazy and exhausting.

I fell asleep when I got home from work today, finally got up, ate some paleo chocolate cake (hahahahaha), cleaned up my life a little, and now am relaxing.

It's been go-go-go-go!

I haven't weighed myself. I plan to be very on point with eating this week, get back to the gym (yoga tomorrow morning!), and settle down. I want to catch up on sleep most of all!

The 14 mile hike went GREAT. I am in good shape, that I know for sure now. I wasn't exhausted at the end, I still had energy, I could hike it all over again today. I love that my body is capable of such long endurance trials, regardless of how much I weigh.

We plan to do a sunrise hike tomorrow night (hike in at night, camp and wake up before the sun rises to see the sunrise on the top of the mountain). So that will be a nice, active start to my 4th of July!! We are going to a BBQ with TONS of meat, so I will at least stay paleo at the BBQ, but I will also try to be reasonable with my calories.

I plan to blog a little better this week, now that everything has calmed down!