Well! October, you came up fast! (Above picture is the first Halloween decorations put up in my neighborhood, haha)
The year is flying by. In some ways, I've gotten a lot done and life is better (lost the last bit of weight, spruced up the house, trained the dog, got married).
In some ways, life is stagnant (can't seem to get work done on my dissertation, no full time job).
But, that's life? I guess!
I am just getting nervous- that I will never have kids, that I waited too long (I'm 31) and if I do manage to have kids, that I won't be able to support them!
Sigh.
I don't know how to live, not really! I'm trying all the time though :)
Short post today- I'm kind of in an anxious spiral and just wanted to get some thoughts out!
Namaste, friends.
You have not waited too late! I have several friends in their mid to late thirties having healthy pregnancies and babies! But I would encourage you to be a responsible parent and set some goals for yourself so you can provide for your future child.
ReplyDeleteWhy is it you aren't working on your dissertation? Is your heart not leading you down that job path any more? Is it time to get educated in another area? I had a friend who was working on her dissertation and really had to just set her self a deadline and go to the library every day for a certain amount of time so she would focus on it. She had to set a goal... And she finally finished!! (She's now a stay at home mom, but worked a couple years and saved hard before getting pregnant).
I'm not a good "feeler" in this area though so it's more my brain thinking logically, than my heart feeling for a fellow woman desiring a child. I just know too many families who could barely support themselves that HAD to have a baby right then, and find themselves so financially stressed that life is no more enjoyable...but they do have a loving little family. I want you to have the best of both, and a life that isn't stressed but has purpose and fulfillment. You'll figure it all out along the way ;)
You are definitely not too late for babies. I had my little guy when I was 37...and morbidly obese! Just say'in...
ReplyDeleteI had my kids at 33 and 38. Don't sweat it.
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