I am an anxious person (probably why I turned to eating in the past!)
I want to marry Chris sooner rather than later. We hope to get this done by fall 2013.
The reality of that has been hitting me lately. Planning a wedding (and his family wants a real wedding celebration with all the family!) is not something I really want to do... ^.^ The thought of all the planning that goes into a large event like that terrifies me!
We also have conflicting family-wants/needs with the wedding, which stresses me out... I just want everyone to have a nice time! A wedding is about your nearest and dearest witnessing you promising your life to someone, starting your new life with you.
I've always WANTED a wedding, I wanted to be in a gorgeous dress and dance with friends and family at a party celebrating my love. Now that it is real, I cannot fathom actually planning this out and making it happen. I want to be this weight and maybe fitter by next fall... I worry about being so anxious, about turning to food. I will stay aware and work on that not happening, haha!
Biggest point of stress: wedding dress/wedding dress shopping.
I HATE shopping with other people. I hate to have people see me in clothes I haven't yet decided look decent on me. I don't want people to consider how a dress looks on my body. I don't want to stand in front of people I know, mirrors, and employees in a dress while they all look at me. I don't want anyone judging how I look in a dress (even if they are doing it lovingly to help me pick a dress that flatters me!)
Is that strange? Ugh.
I do love wedding dresses, though (guilty pleasure: watching Say Yes to the Dress!). I actually am very excited about getting to wear a gorgeous gown for the first time in my life. I've never paid more than 100 dollars for a dress, and that was only for bridesmaid dresses, haha. Also, being at this point in my health journey, I think I might actually like how I look in a beautiful dress (I could never picture feeling that way in the past!) I really am looking forward to dress shopping.... just not with anyone. I feel like a huge weirdo.
Chris' mom is extremely excited about the process, wants to come shopping, wants his side of the family to come, too! I am a people-pleaser, I don't know how to say no. Being a people-pleaser, I especially don't want people with me, because I will want THEM to be happy more than me.
For now, I am looking online at dresses stress-free :D and dreaming!
That's a lot of pressure; the amount of involvement his family wants...I'm sure it's out of excitement and love but it does put you in a weird spot where I'm sure you feel you might have to cede control of things that are important to you in order to please others. In any event, you're going to look stunning!
ReplyDeleteOK...first...BREATHE.
ReplyDeleteSecond...there are solutions to these problems. Compromise is key and some of the family doesn't even have to know you're doing it. You can got the dress shop ahead of time. Try on to your heart's content with only the people you want there (alone if you want!). And pick 3 or 4 that you feel pretty good in. Those are the ones you try on with the rest of the family. They don't have to know you've already done some prescreening.
If you don't like the planning aspect, hire an event planner. I did my own but had a whole year and nothing else to do (was just finishing up college, no job, Hubby was 1000 miles away). A friend of mine used a wedding planner and it made things SO much easier. :)
Try to enjoy this time!
Oooh, I like the above idea about pre-screening some dresses before you involve the in-laws!!
ReplyDeleteA wedding planner may be a worthwhile investment if it will help calm your anxiety...and you WILL NOT turn to food...you are way passed that. You will be healthier & fitter than ever before come your wedding day!! Woo! Gonna be a fun year planning your wedding with you :) Hahaha