Surprising First!

So, I stayed up rather late last night with our friend who is staying with us. She is moving out of state tomorrow, so we are pretty much spending all the time we can with her, even if it means losing a little bit of sleep at night. She is my husband's oldest friend in the city, and she will be missed!!

But, if you know me, you know I don't like to miss my eight hours of sleep a night! Once in a while is fine though. I might take a little nap this afternoon after work, though.

Sleeplessness leads to me eating more, because I'm looking for energy from some source, and I can't exactly take a nap at work! But I packed a ton of lower calorie, fibrous, filling fruits and vegetables and my lunch today to keep me satiated. Lots of water too.

And a lovely walk in the bright sunshine is a perfect pick me up, as well:

I weighed in at 122.8 this morning! First time I've seen under 123 in a week or two. I'm not keeping steady track, but as long as I'm with in a pound or two of 123, I'm really happy!! 

I feel really healthy, balanced, and happy. I'm not restricting food, I'm not worrying about amounts, I'm just eating when I'm hungry and making good decisions when I am hungry. Most often choosing the vegetables of all the colors in the rainbow, fruit, lots of lean protein, you know the drill. And most often means MOST often, really. The indulgences are pretty common, but small, and not really the main part of my diet.

Relaxing into this weight, relaxing into this maintenance, and truly, truly getting to know my own body, for the first time in 32 years.

Oh!!!

And the most exciting thing to happen, I touched my toes for the very first time.

!!!!!!

I'm serious, even as a child, my hamstrings and the back of my knees and my lower back were so tight that I could never touch my toes. Last night I gave the back of my legs a really good deep stretch and then, BAM, touched my toes!

It is supremely amazing that our bodies can surprise us after 30+ years.

Back to work!

<3

Seasons and stuff

(This mistakenly didn't publish yesterday- so here it is today!) 

Well, it's feeling like summer around here. Reaching the high 80s in temperature the last few days. I like it, I'm not quite ready for summer to end.

However, the mornings are chilly, the acorns are falling, the leaves are changing:

And I think it's going to feel like fall sooner rather than later.

If you've been reading me for a while, you know that's just about my favorite season (tied with the beauty of spring's rebirth!): leaves, pumpkin flavors, hoodies, etc!

But I can wait a while for it :)

Not much else to report here. Work is fine, as always. Nearing the two month mark of being at work, and I still haven't bought any food at work. I've brought everything, homemade!! It's really helped me keep a handle on my health and my weight. That, and going for almost an hour walk during the work day!

I weighed in at 124 pounds this morning. That's pretty normal for during the workweek, because I get up at 6 AM and weigh myself well before my body has had a chance to, ahem... expunge anything from the day before.

I noticed that when I weigh myself on the weekends, waking up around eight and then having time for my body to wake up before I weigh in, I weigh closer to 123 and 122.

Normal and accepted :)

Back to work for me <3

Weekend

Another busy and active weekend!

Saturday, Chris and I went to a local historical attraction, Saratoga National Battlefield Park, which includes a 9 mile loop that you can either walk, bike, or drive. We were a little short on time, so we decided to drive, but at each stop on the loop was an opportunity to walk and explore- which we did!

Then we stopped at Saratoga Monument, and climbed to the top:

We came home and prepped the house to throw a going away party for our friend- I had lots of fun, only drank 2 beers and only overate a little :)

Sunday, we took a 6 mile local hike with the dog. It was a GORGEOUS day and the place was stunning:

So a great weekend with a little indulgence and a LOT of activity! Just how I like it :)

Now to get through Monday, hahaha :)

Weighing In Less

I've recently stopped daily weighing in favor of every other day or every few days. (So still stepping on the scale 3-4 times a week).

It's done wonders for my MENTAL health.

I definitely still have a little work to do to not let the number on the scale affect my mood. If it's a "bad" number (and right there shows you I still play some sick disordered games in my head where numbers/weight can be inherently good or bad), I feel more self-conscious and upset throughout the day. A "good" number makes me feel a thrill and makes me walk through my day happier.

No good!

So I've taken the daily weighing out of the equation so that small daily fluctuations can't have that affect on my mood.

I still eat the same and exercise the same no matter what the scale says, and I've been maintaining the same weight for a very long time now (ex: today I am 123.2, right where I've been for a long while!), so I realized it doesn't matter if I keep a strict daily accounting of my weight. 

But I believe STAYING REAL is also important. The scale is sticking around. I'm human, after all, and it's easy to put the blinders on and pretend something (like weight gain) isn't happening... Though my work pants aren't very forgiving so I might notice a significant gain even without the scale!

But, as always, this is a journey towards total health. My body is very healthy right now, but I think it's a lifelong journey to get and keep mental and spiritual health. So I will keep experimenting and working on myself and challenging myself.

In other news, Grandma is still in the hospital but will be moved to a rehab place soon - she realllllly wants to go home, but I'm scared she might not (she's 99!! Her heart is 99 and struggling). But it's nice to have this time with her to visit.

Having a quiet weekend in Albany- planned lots of dog walks and some local hikes. We're making pulled pork and having a little party for a friend of ours who is moving away soon. 

Enjoy your day fully, friends <3

Antibiotics in our food linked to obesity?

Just more information about the potential of all the hormones, antibiotics, chemicals, and whatever else in our food and how it's potentially affecting our bodies:

http://touch.organicauthority.com/organicauthority/#!/entry/early-antibiotic-use-a-likely-cause-of-obesity-research-finds,53f615dd025312186c40793a

It is hard to get hard and fast proof about things like this. Science is not always completely straightforward, and studies of the effects of all of these things that we are eating in the modern era take a long, long time to figure out. And it's really hard to get a controlled study.

But I'm not going to sit around and wait to find out in 10 years that such and such thing I've been eating causes some awful chronic disease.

The best way to avoid it?

Eat food in as natural state as possible.

Cows that eat grass and aren't flooded with hormones and antibiotics. Free range, cage free chickens that don't eat other chickens. Tomatoes that aren't coated in a thick layer of pesticide. Food that hasn't been mummified with preservatives. Food that looks like food. You know what I mean.

So if antibiotics really do cause our bodies to tend towards obesity? And you're eating beef and chicken full of antibiotics? And feeding it to your kids?

It's a battle with all the odds stacked against us.

So, I eat less meat and pay more for meat without antibiotics and hormones. And if a majority of us did that, they might just stop putting that crap in our livestock.

Rant over!!

Have a great weekend everyone <3

Still Not Tracking!!

It struck me the other day that it has been months and months since I have stopped tracking my calories ...

(If you are new around here, you should know that I religiously tracked my calories on a phone app for years and years, and before that I used to track them in a little notebook, and I thought it was the only way I could maintain my weight. Earlier this year, I realized that it wasn't sustainable if I wanted to have a full and healthy life. I was obsessing over everything I put in my mouth and obsessing over writing it down, obsessing over the math and the science and my weight and my food. So I sought out some professional help and went to a few therapy sessions, and I read a few books, and I decided it was time to stop.)

So, what is the result of almost half a year of not tracking my calories?

Well, I have successfully maintained my weight between 122 and 124 pounds (A little more towards the 124 range since I've gotten my desk job, Haha, sedentisn!!).

But, I am so happy. I cannot believe it is possible for me to maintain this weight without obsessing! I was talking to my husband about it last night, and overall, in our life, there's a lot less obsessing over weight and food and things like that. It's just not the first thing on my mind all the time.

In the past, every single bite that I took had to be thought about and recorded. It made eating a much bigger thing than it had to be.

It was so important to do the mental work. To get my brain truly healthy. It wasn't until my brain got on track that I could get my physical health truly on track, too.

Now I know when I'm truly hungry, not emotionally hungry. Now I trust my body. Now I trust myself. I've learned a lot in the past few years and I feel like this is the first year that I've truly put it all into practice. Eating well because it's good for me, exercising because it makes me feel amazing, being active because it is simply the way that I live, taking care of my mind, body, and spirit because this is the only life I'm going to get it, and I'm going to protect it.

I was so scared to give up counting calories. I was so scared for the change, because I didn't know any other way. And now, on the other side of it, I can't believe I wasted so many years being so obsessive! But it took doing those things to make me who I am today. Maybe I wouldnt have learned how to truly eat well if I hadn't forced myself to learn about it for so long. It's instinctual now, and it didn't used to be.

Anyway, I thought it was time for an update, to let you all know that my weight basically hasn't changed, even though I changed a really big thing about how I approach my health.

Off for my lunch time walk!!!

Walking and walking

So, I've taken to eating lunch at my desk while I'm working, so that I can have my full half hour lunch break to walk around!

And it has been so beautiful out lately, I can barely believe it (not humid or too hot at all):

So I'm getting a full hour of walks in during the day, at work, not including walking the dog, of course.

I am sticking to the plan I set for myself a month and a half ago when I started work. Lots of vegetables during the day, lots of walking when I can. It's going really well!

just a little check in to let you know that I am sticking to my guns on this one. I'm not going to let the office job give me a flat butt haha :)

Have a great day <3

Back!

The cabin weekend was great, though the weather was a bit chilly and damp (but no real rain!) which meant I spent the majority of my time around the fire!

I laughed so hard my abs hurt, I stayed up past 4 AM three nights in a row, I just totally enjoyed my time :)

There was a media blackout because it was a private party, so not a ton of cell phone photos. One of my friends had a Polaroid camera, though, and I took the ones I was in:

Yes, that's a beer in my hand- I drank WAY less than any other long cabin/festival weekend, though, and stayed insanely hydrated.

I got lazier throughout the weekend as the lack of sleep caught up with me.

No weigh in for a couple days, but my diet is going to be spot on (even if I didn't gain any weight, I would like to focus in super clean and nutritious food to clean out any toxins!!).

Veggies and lean protein all day today, already feeling better!

I am so... Sated.

I am content. Parties like that fully fulfill my need for friends, socialness, letting go and getting away. No worries for a few days is a great reset.

Being at peace helps me not look for pleasure in food. 

But I am looking for a bit more sleep, so I'm gonna cut this short :) I hope everyone had a wonderful weekend!

<3

Busy!

Lots going on- Grandma is back in the hospital. I know her time is not far off... And I'm sad because I love her, but she's also 99 and got to see her great grandchildren! A long life. I'm scared for her that she's not happy or comfortable. Am going to go see her tonight.

Otherwise, you won't hear from me this weekend. It's the annual cabin getogether of all our friends- no internet, just music and fires and nice times!

Also, my weight is back where I like it- 123.6 finally. Was trending a pound or toe higher for a couple weeks- not sure why! But I just kept eating how I know I should (ALL the veggies!!) and staying active no matter what my weight was. I know I'll trend up and down and that's normal! (Still getting used to not calorie counting and relying on hunger signals... It's still a bit new/scary to not feel that obsessive control. But it's better, much better.)

Have a beautiful day! <3

Haircut

Once again, my hairdresser wanted to cut off almost all of my hair. I only go about once a year, so my long hair is rather damaged by the time I get to the hairdresser!

I should learn my lesson. If I want long and pretty hair, I have to go in for trim once in a while!

She also said that my very dark hair was too harsh, so she did some color removal for lightening, to try and get me back to my original dark brown color.

So, inexpensive and long process later here are the results:

I like it and can definitely live with it, but will be counting the weeks till I have longer hair again :)

<3

Pictures Say It All

And these are saying I had a TERRIFIC weekend-

Hiking 12 miles and hitting the summits of two gorgeous mountains on a perfect day:

And driving to Providence to see my niece:

But SOO busy- ate all the prepped food, got to shop and prep tonight, lunch is measley today, gah!

Getting my hair dyed and cut tonight - so pics of that to come along with nicer pics of the hike.

Back to the grind :)

Hiking and Scale Break

Finally getting out to hike tomorrow! I've been really itching to lately, but our weekends have been very busy with other things.

Looking forward to getting out there and being active in the woods all day. It really has been too long. My body needs to stretch and move and not stop stretching and moving for hours!

I am doing what I can with the desk job, getting three 15 minute walks in every day, getting up to stretch every hour, drinking lots of water and eating good food. But it's just not like it used to be!

I decided not to weigh in for a few days and give myself a break. I was getting increasingly frustrated with seeing 124.something on the scale even though I was keeping my diet pretty tight, being active as much as I could, so I'm just going to give myself a mental break and check in again in a couple days.

I think the physical and mental escape of hiking is going to be just what I needed :)

I'll let you know how it went and share pictures after!

Namaste <3

Article and Update

Good simple article: http://www.mindbodygreen.com/0-13075/6-signs-of-a-good-diet.html

The generally excepted rules to a healthy diet are actually pretty simple. No matter what SPECIFIC diet you follow!

Otherwise- things are going well with me. Not too much to report on! Weight is sticking at 124 hard. Oh well! Still going to stay conscious of it, but I feel and look good.. So not stressing about it, either!

And still enjoying dressing nicely for work :)

That's it for now- take care, my friends!! (And eat real food!!!)

Updates

So, life updates:

New windows are being installed right now, I'll post pictures when everything is done and cleaned up. But I'm already loving them, they installed a few yesterday and it's amazing to be able to open your windows!

My grandmother is in the hospital, it's nothing serious, but good vibes would always be appreciated. She doesn't want to deteriorate in the hospital and looks forward to going home. She is 99 years old so going into the hospital scary for her. She wants to be home (of course!).

She is an amazing woman. Almost 100 years old and still lives in her own two-story home, by herself. She has a little bit of help in the mornings and with grocery shopping and getting out and stuff.

But still!!

So, good thoughts :)

Work is still going well. It's been over a month now and I still like it. Not minding my reduced snacks this week, I certainly don't like holding onto an extra couple pounds of weight, so I'm making the necessary changes.

Lunch:

My main lunch meal is parsnips, bok choy, carrots, mushies and ground turkey- delish!

Okay, off to my afternoon walk before getting back to work <3

Co-op Shop

Went to the co-op myself this morning (as Chris is probably still sleeping somewhere in Connecticut haha!)..

Proud of my haul!!

I've been eating a TON of veggies this month, I know my nutrition is spot on. However, I have been buying snacks for work, which I just shouldn't do. My snacks are usually something like plantain chips (calorie heavy!) or chocolate nibs (sugar!).

So, I've been maintaining a heavier weight than I would like. I didn't buy my chocolate snacks (just a couple of chocolate bars for during the week, as dessert, split between me and Chris) and subbed dried snap peas for the plantain chips.

Going to try not to rely on snacks at work, though. I most certainly did not snack when I was at home alone all week! Will pare it down this week and then just try to eliminate next week. 

I bought organic mints to suck on if my snacking desires get too strong- will leave them in my desk.

Ok- off to walk the dog and wait for Chris to get home!

<3

Observation

My husband and I were talking yesterday and we had a funny little observation during our conversation.

It wasn't until we went green free and dairy free that we even noticed that we have a sensitivity to both greens and dairy. When our bodies were inundated with those types of foods 100% of the time, we just thought blemishes and rashes and bloating where just a part of being human.

Then we tried the Whole30.

Now, every time we eat off Paleo, we have pretty immediate reactions to the foods. Bloating and rashes being number one.

And I thought about other foods in the world. How I can not eat a specific fruit or vegetable for months (because we eat pretty seasonally in order to get the best prices, we don't get beets or blueberries at certain times of the year)... And when we reintroduce that fruit or vegetable back into the diet, our body has absolutely no reaction. Because they're good for us, because the body recognizes it as good fuel, and nothing inside of our bodies is fighting that food!

Big clue as to what belongs in my body and what doesn't.

Anyway!

I'm having a quiet weekend at home this weekend. I said my husband off to a festival to see his favorite band of all time (the Disco Biscuits) play at a festival called Gathering of the Vibes.. It's a special performance because the drummers from the Grateful Dead are sitting in with the band. My husband absolutely adores the Grateful Dead, so this is pretty much a dream mash up!!

The ticket was not cheap, and he has to stay overnight because it's far away, and I didn't want to double our expenses by getting me a ticket and having to board the dog because the both of us were gone overnight.

So I told him to go and have fun! It's strange not to go to a concert with my husband, we've been to everything together in the past five years. But I'm okay with it. I got a lot done today, it's beautiful out, and I'm relaxing :)

Have a beautiful weekend <3

No Grains, No Gains: Dealing with Skeptics

NO GRAINS, NO GAINS: A GROUP A OF PRIMAL/PALEO/GRAIN FREE WOMEN WHO BLOG ABOUT THEIR EXPERIENCES/LIFE/BENEFITS WITHOUT GRAINS. A GREAT WAY FOR OTHERS (WHO MAY BE WANTING TO LOSE WEIGHT, REVERSE AN ACUTE/CHRONIC HEALTH TREND, AND/OR TRANSITION FROM COMMERCIAL WEIGHT LOSS PROGRAMS) TO READ ABOUT REAL LIFE WOMEN WHO ARE LIVING THE LIFE AND SUCCEEDING!

Let's face it: going grain free or paleo or primal or whatever else similar is going to lead you right smack dab in the middle of MANY conversations with people skeptical of your food choices (as if it somehow matters to anyone else what YOU put in YOUR mouth!). But, truthfully, it is usually a huge topic for family, friends, coworkers and even strangers! Personally, I think that when someone knows, deep down, that they are eating poorly (chemicals, junk, whatever), they feel more of a need to talk to you, to talk DOWN to you, about your food choices. Seeing others make good choices can often feel like an attack when you aren't eating well (it felt that way to me for a long time).

I've been "paleo"ish for 2.5 years now (on average, sticking to about 95% paleo.. about 3% primal and 2% OMG BREAD AND CAKE), so I've got some practice talking about my diet. 

So, some common things I hear and my responses:

- Gluten sensitivity is all in your head.

- When I go grain free (dairy free, etc), my acne and rashes disappear, I lose a couple of pounds (from being bloated), and I FEEL amazing. When I eat those things again, all those problems come back. If it's in my head or in my body, no matter, I prefer to feel this good!

- You must eat a lot of meat! That's not good for you, either!

-  Actually, since going paleo, I've eaten LESS meat than before. The whole point of going grain free is to eat healthier. I've replaced 

my grains with vegetables, not meat, which leaves me feeling fuller, so I need less throughout the day. True paleo adherents emphasize the QUALITY of meat, as well, so I buy less meat in order to get antibiotic and hormone free meats!

- You aren't getting the nutrients you need without grains.

- If you've made a commitment to eating a well-rounded diet with the full spectrum of nutrients, it's easy to get the vitamins and minerals that are found in grains: eating nuts, leafy greens, and high quality fish will get you most of the things that are found in grains (like selenium, folate, manganese and betaine).

Whatever the point is, I have an easy counter point, and the reason is this:

I didn't go grain free to jump on a fad bandwagon.

I didn't go grain free to lose weight.

I didn't go paleo because my ancestors ate this way (they didn't, by the way). 

I went grain free (and pretty much paleo) because it is the diet that WORKS for me - removing grains/dairy/legumes from my diet actually freed up a lot space in my diet that had previously been bulked out with calories dense and nutrient light foods (bread, ahem). I had to fill that space, and the whole POINT was to get healthy, so I filled that space with amazing nutrient dense foods: spinach, tomatoes, beets, sweet potatoes, etc.

When I have grains in my life, they take over. They also cause me to be bloated and inflamed (which leads to my blood sugar spiking and me craving MORE grains). I need them OUT of the picture in order to eat the way I do.

When you know, truly, that the way you eat is healthy for you and right for you, it is easy to deal with skeptics. I've done my research, I am educated about food and the history of food. I didn't do this on a whim and I've been doing it for a while.

No skeptic will dissuade me from my path - especially not when I feel and look better than I did in my 20s at 32!

Namaste <3

Other members of No Grains, No Gains:
Gwen http://thesunnycoconut.com/
Leigh http://poonapalooza.blogspot.com/
Karen http://gardengirlkp.blogspot.com/