My adviser did hook me up with a teaching job in the spring, and though it's just one class, it's great - as a resume builder AND to stop this cycle of unemployment.
Things just feel so overwhelming and impossible much of the time. I am putting my trust in karmic balance that at SOME point, good things will start to happen just like all the bad things.
I want so much to just BE. But I do feel as if I am struggling (and flailing about wildly) lately.
Soooo, I was thinking today as I did my daily weigh in (121.8, which was great!)-
I know that I have some leftover bad habits from when I was fully immersed in my disordered eating - I weigh myself every day (I used to weigh myself up to a dozen times a day!). I rarely use body measurements (which are a better indicator of success and fitness than the scale, which is so easily affected by menstrual cycles or if I didn't drink enough water or whatever.
I took my measurements today, standard bust-waist-hip at 33-26-35. I remember the last time I took my waist measurements were over a year ago, before I went paleo and I was hovering between 29 and 30 inches. That's a great 3 inches of fat off my abdomen since embarking on this journey of eating paleo, eating clean, and focusing on exercise (not just the weekend hikes I used to do, but purposeful exercise daily even if it is just yoga).
It would be better if I just used weekly measurements to make sure I was still where I wanted to be!
Gwen urged me to not weigh in every day, especially in these days leading up to my wedding. But, as I said, I feel as if I am striving and struggling here, and for some reason, I just can't give it up. I sometimes will skip a day. And sometimes (like this coming weekend) I will be camping and not near a scale for four days. I am not so addicted to the scale that this fact bothers me (it's actually kind of a relief!).
Like I said, the use of the scale is not as intense as when I was in the height of my disordered eating, but it's is a leftover symptom of a way to feel some control. This is not the month I am ready to deal with that problem, ha.
Here I am, unfailingly human, continuously learning, never perfect, trying.
Eat clean, treat your body well, move it around, and do something for your spirit today. Namaste <3