My sister-in-law is coming into town for the weekend. One, so she can come to this dress fitting/pick-up so she can learn how to do the bustle! Two, because I have my second bridal shower tomorrow with my local family. I'm pretty excited to see her, she's an awesome person - feeling lucky to be gaining a sister in this marriage!
So... I weigh 122.8 this morning. About one pound less than I weighed exactly a month ago when I had my first dress fitting.
Not that I am EXCITED about that fact, but (as I tell other weight loss bloggers who are struggling with losing, but are still losing) - I am DOWN from last month. That's important to remember. I struggled this month for sure, hit a low of 121, so I am up 1.8 from that.
Those are NOT big numbers or differences. Nothing to worry about.
But, as the face of someone recovering from being overweight/obese, recovering from binge eating disorders, AND recovering from bulimia-like disorders - not feeling in control of my weight makes all the crazy things happen in my brain.
But, I'm here - putting it on paper. Saying that this weight and those weight differences just are not a big deal. I am fine.
I am going to go put on my wedding dress. Spend an evening with my family and friends (it is my very good friend's birthday party tonight - at a pizza place where I will NOT eat pizza). I will savor life and savor the smiles and remember I am worthy of being happy.
You are worthy too.
Namaste <3
You are so worthy, Jeanette!
ReplyDeleteEVERYONE is worthy! (well, short or murderers and such.)
And two pounds up or down, will not affect the WAY you fit in that wedding gown, they can only affect the way you THINK about it!
And don't let that kind of mental game get in the way of enjoying these final, wonderful days of your wedding event! In fact, I hereby challenge you to put the scale AWAY ENTIRELY until after your wedding day. Stop focusing on numbers, and start fully focusing on joy. The numbers no longer mean ANYTHING between now and your wedding. NOTHING. Stop giving them not only power, but your time and your focus. You will thank me later! :)
Have a wonderful evening! / weekend!
I KNOW that you are right, I should stop weighing - but the eating disordered side of me just cannot let go of that right now (I've only been "free" of the disordered behaviors for a few years - but the thoughts still run rampant). I get insurance in September and am looking forward to finally getting to see a therapist for help in these issues because I know I cannot always worry so much about controlling my weight!
DeleteMy dear, whether 122.8 or 121 (or even 119) makes absolutely NO difference at all.
ReplyDeleteYou will look beautiful, beautiful, beautiful and you'll be the very best, most gorgeously lovely bride your Chris could marry - a very lucky man he is.
Struggles are a part of life. You've dealt with everything life has thrown at you and still come out the far end trim, fit and looking after 'you' (physically and mentally) despite it all. That's such a cause for celebration and you should feel huge pride in yourself and what you've achieved.
Enjoy the moment, enjoy the precious time with your s-i-l, enjoy bridal shower 2, have a wonderful weekend, and forget about those few ounces - they simply do not matter (go on, do the maths - there really aren't many of them).
Deniz
Have fun with your soon-to-be sister-in-law and enjoy the family bridal shower. Feel all the love around you from those present and not. Soak in all the joy and know that you are beautiful.
ReplyDeleteI have loved reading about your wedding preparations, and I'm very excited for you. It sounds to me like you've worked extremely hard to get where you are...and that's something to be very proud of!
ReplyDeleteYou are very inspiring to me!