I finally broke through a wall yesterday. I've had this low level of stress just sort of hanging around my mind and my body for a couple of weeks now. Having Chris home, I just asked him to help me with some things, take some stuff off my plate, took an afternoon nap, played a game... and all of a sudden, in the evening, I just felt plain ol' GOOD!
And it was amazing.
Stress is super hard to deal with. At the Mindfulness talk, Thich Nhat Hanh mentioned that most people in this country turn to consumption to deal with suffering. I have not let that be an option for me this summer - I've been eating very moderately and can count the number of days I drank on my fingers.
So if I don't turn to consumption, then what? Well, I just sit with it, feel it, understand it. Try to be nice to myself.
But, still, it was super awesome to have Chris take some of the load off of me and give me an opportunity to fully relax.
In a good place today :) Maybe the lack of stress let my body fully relax, too, let go of any inflammation it was holding onto, because I weighed in a 119 even this morning. I love it :)
So I HAVE been very moderate and careful with portion sizes, and sticking very close to a clean eating/paleo template. Thought I would give you an idea of what I ate yesterday:
Breakfast: almond milk yogurt, 1 piece bacon, banana, coffee and flax milk
Lunch: sweet potato, 2 eggs, half a tomato, guacamole
Dinner: huge spinach salad with a can of tuna, tomato, olive oil and balsamic vinegar
Snacks: 1/2 bar chocolate (haha this is an every other day treat I won't stop!), coconut pudding, nectarine
Water: I don't keep track, but at LEAST 64 ounces
This all came out to about 1400 calories, which is about 300 less than I would eat in a normal day. All that means is that I gave up a snack, or reduced the portion size of my meals. No big loss for me. My meals would look like that pretty much any other day, but just with a few additions to bulk it out.
It will be interesting after the wedding to see what calorie range I should stick around to maintain this weight. This weight is new to me and it will take some learning to know what to do to maintain it.
For right now, focused on the end of my to-do list, packing since we are leaving Thursday, eating clean, walking my dog, and staying in this calm place :)
Namaste, my friends.