Back to Life

Today is my first day teaching at the local university. I haven't been nervous about it... at all. Except for right now. I got a little nervous because it is so real! But I am prepared and experienced enough (thanking the professors who I used to assist who MADE me teach one of the lectures during the semester... it's not an unknown for me, now).

It's nice to be back to life. I still feel a little... unreal, sometimes. I can't believe I am just here, alive, healthy, living my life. Having something very seriously wrong with me that could ONLY be fixed with modern medicine and surgery or else I would die... it scared me. It also made me incredibly grateful. I think I am still a little bit in shock.

I got a lot of life stuff taken care of yesterday. For example, I FINALLY hired someone to inscribe the death date on my dad's gravestone (it is a joint stone with my mom, so the rest of it was already inscribed). I don't know why I waited so long. But I've been thinking about it for a long time and it's been plaguing me. Inscribing something in stone is just so damned final.

The other thing I did: made an appointment with a doctor's office so that I can have a primary care physician. Someone who has all my records in one place and is in charge of keeping that all straight. Someone I can call when I am very sick and get advice (they probably would have advised me to go to the hospital if I had called them with my symptoms over a week ago... saved me a few days of walking around with almost no blood, haha).

Weighing in at 122.6 today. Lack of vegetables makes it impossible for me to eat as well as I need to to weigh 120. But that will be over soon - veggies come back on Friday!!!!! :D :D

I also don't mind weighing a little more if it means I get to be alive.

PERSPECTIVE.

I've been urging many people in my life to start caring about their health (not to lose weight, necessarily, but to focus on health)... because I am newly scared about these weird, freak health scares. I came out of it so well because I eat very well and keep fit. I don't want to lose anyone I love because their body wasn't strong enough to heal! People are putting up with me because they love me, hahaha :) But if even one person takes a little better care, I'd be happy.

So, off to the university to teach!!

Namaste <3