Whole Health: your feet!

Interesting article popped up in my morning news perusal: Feet: the foundation for fitness and it made me think of the fitness blogs I read and the foot problems many of those writers' experience!

I've actually shied away from running because of the high impact it has on the feet/legs. Well, that, and because I suck at running :) But I always noticed that it was so much harder on my feet than my other favored exercises (walking, yoga, body-weight strength training and hiking).

Feet carry us through our lives. We are dependent on them for transportation and many types of exercise. They are also pretty delicate mechanisms - the article talks about how a quarter of our bones are in our feet/ankles! And it goes into the fact that we all care so much about stability, and often focus on our legs and core for stability and strength, but that all starts with the feet. Definitely need to take care of them, whether you are doing high impact sports or not.

They recommend strengthening your feet and incorporating that into your regular exercise/self-care routine. From the article:

"Simply trying to pick up a washcloth, towel or marbles with the feet fires up the muscles that build arch strength, he said. Standing on one foot for 10 seconds is also a good way to build core strength.

Bowman suggests doing exercises such as spreading, pointing and individually lifting the toes, rolling a tennis ball underfoot, and standing on tiptoe to strengthen the calves."

So I wanted to throw that out there, something to keep in mind :)

Especially as I move into this new phase in my life, I want to really get back to the original purpose of this blog - that this is for total health, for life. No quick fixes. No short cuts. Not focusing on just one aspect of health, one sport, one diet. Just plain old good taking care of your mind and body to ensure the best health possible.

This is possible. It is not COMMON in our society of narrow-focus and quick results. People want what they want, in almost a child-like manner. They will rework true science to be able to feel like they are living well, even if in the end, it is harmful. Truth is truth, and there is no altering of that, no taking the easy way out. The body is multi-faceted - it requires complete nutrition, exercise that includes the whole body (strength and endurance!), as well as mental-care.

So maybe it might not be easy to focus on total health - but it can be fun :) There are a multitude of different ways to achieve this, and I hope to explore those at the same time as telling you all how I personally go about it.

That's enough for today for me. I'll try to focus more on these issues, because they are what is important to me.

Otherwise, things are fine! I had a tougher day yesterday with nausea/fatigue. But I slept 10 hours last night and am feeling better this morning. I got right into bed when I got home from work, Chris made me eggs with sweet potatoes, we had banana ice cream (paleo: it's just frozen bananas!) after, I watched some television and fell asleep. Not the most productive evening, but I needed it.

Have a great day, namaste <3

Back on the Grid

It was super nice to take a long break from everything this weekend - being completely unplugged is really awesome :)




Also, it was nice to come back to so many really nice messages. I just wanted to thank everyone who reached out to me, it really brightened my day. And that's a really powerful thing. I was talking a few days ago about being confused by the fact that, when it is easiest to do nothing, people put their energies into causing suffering. Well, you all make me smile, because, when you could have done nothing, you reached out and made me smile. It's a lovely thing to be reminded that people are pretty great :)

I didn't have the most restful weekend, though, because I am such a light sleeper and sharing a cabin with a dozen people is hard for me. So definitely did not get a full night's sleep either night. Definite trade off! I'm working overtime again this week, so I am kind of exhausted this morning. Will be getting to bed super early tonight.

The mountains were still in full on winter, despite that fact that it is supposed to be spring! We actually couldn't drive our cars up the long, long, long driveway to the cabin. All the cars got stuck within 50 feet. We had to abandon them and trek up the driveway with all our stuff in deep snow! Crazy. I didn't leave the cabin at ALL on Saturday because of the cold and snow, only got in 2000 steps, and don't regret a moment of it, haha.

I did get out on Sunday, despite it being 5 degrees out, and took a little hike with Koda. The whole group also went on a walk down the road to a local Maple Fest at a neighbor's farm. That was really neat, being able to see how the maple syrup is made, and we scored a nice pint of tasty maple syrup for a reasonable price! With all that walking, plus errands after we got home, I got up to 13,000 steps.

Some pictures from the weekend, leaving out most, because I don't want to put my friend's pictures out there:

Koda and Chris out in the snow

A pretty brook during one of Sunday's walks

The Sugar Shack, where the maple syrup gets made

Alright, just wanted to check. I'm pretty tired today, but I hope to have more of substance for you guys later this week!

Namaste <3

Respite!

A little theme of respite here.

First, I thankfully am having a moment of respite from nausea and other associated problems! Thank goodness. I'm not silly enough to think I am home free, but any day I feel like normal is a blessing. I had three days of being a complete zombie, who was disgusted by everything except grains, feeling dizzy and nauseous and absolutely exhausted. I am feeling like myself today! My energy levels are still lower than normal, but I am eating my usual foods and don't want to burst into tears because of how crappy I feel. Big plus :)

My second respite is a little break from normal life - work and housework and schoolwork. We are going to spend the weekend at our friend's cabin in the woods. There will be about a dozen people there and it looks like we will spent the weekend enjoying the local Maple Fest, cooking meals for each other, and just hanging out. We are bringing Koda because they have a huge, isolated property he can run free on, so he will be having an amazing weekend, himself!

I am bringing my book, which had been tossed to the side this week, and plan to finish it this weekend on a cozy couch by the big windows :)

I just need a break from my own mind, too. I'm still pretty worried about the ultrasound in a little less than two weeks. I just wish I could know right now. I keep hoping for the best, but I also don't want to fool myself that it's 100% guaranteed to mitigate my heartbreak if something is wrong. It will be nice to just be surrounded by friends for 48 hours straight. I need it.

My weight is holding pretty stable, just obeying hunger signals and giving in a little bit to cravings (I don't normally have real physical cravings... sometimes I absolutely crave fish so I know that it is time to buy some, etc. I know the difference between wanting and craving :) Craving is my body telling me it needs something. Wanting is me being childish and wanting chocolate rather than veggies, haha.).

So I am holding on, here! Doing the best I can to take care of my mental and physical state. It is working out pretty well, too. I know I am struggling, but generally, I feel okay. Of course, I'd rather be in bed than at work, but I'll get over that :)

Enjoy your weekend, friends, take care of yourselves <3

Response to Anonymous

The first thing I am going to say is that I always have and always will allow anonymous comments. However, if the comment asks nothing/says nothing constructive/offers no good advice/something along those lines and is purely designed to be an attempt to be hurtful, I will delete it. I welcome criticism and like to encourage discussion, and have engaged both in the years I've had this blog. I know haven't got this all figured out and like advice and commentary. But nastiness for no other purpose than to be nasty? No thanks.

I've gotten an uptick in blog traffic recently, so I am guessing that my readers are not all just people actually interested in Paleo or handling weight maintenance or dealing with a disordered past (I fear this is some GOMI/snark related traffic). And I wouldn't normally feed the trolls, but I also don't LIKE deleting comments, and wanted to address why.

So in response to anonymous, no I don't have an eating disorder.

However, I have been really open about my disordered past with regards to food and weight and self-image. An unhealthy relationship in life with food developed really early with the death of my mother when I was ten. The whole family turned to food for comfort, not to each other. I got really developmentally and emotionally stunted. And when I got older and adulthood was on the horizon, I didn't have any healthy coping mechanisms. Yes, I lost weight, but not in a healthy way. The past ten years have been a time when I've done a lot of work to get rid of the burden of my past and my disordered thoughts/beliefs.

Do I still struggle with disordered thoughts/behaviors? Yep. Am I way less disordered then I was 10 years ago or even a year ago? Definitely.

I've been open about it, so I am not sure why you felt the need to attack me. It was in response to me trying to NOT eat a store bought cupcake. So that brings me to my second point.

Completely separate from any disordered body image or thoughts about food is my 100% belief that it is important NOT to eat preservatives, chemicals, antibiotics, hormones, and really any non-food stuff. My process of getting to a healthy relationship with food still will always center around actual food. I do not believe in eating processed junk (though I'm not perfect and sometimes do... I know it is not good fuel for my body). After years of getting real with myself and figuring out what is important to me, what is good and healthy for my mind/body/spirit, one truth has always held true: food can be the best preventative medicine.

And a nasty, preservative-laden (and I know from experience NOT TASTY) cupcake doesn't really meld with all that, huh?

I started this blog to get healthy in all ways - to get past my disordered beliefs, to find peace in my mind and heart AND to find a way to eat and exercise that kept my body at optimal health!

So did you want to hurt me? You didn't. But you did upset me, because I will never understand why people choose to be cruel. Because your easiest course of action when you read my blog was to do nothing. But instead, you put effort into the world to do something. And that something was designed to cause hurt or suffering. And, when the easiest option is to do nothing, I wonder what drives you to make the effort to choose action in that moment.

I made a post some years ago about this - wondering why, when it is so easy to do nothing, people chose to cause suffering. It is something I do not (or attempt not to!) do. It gives me no pleasure to know I've disrupted or upset someone else. I am not perfect at this life, but I am trying and I am learning. When I went to see Thich Nhat Hanh speak, it resonated with me. There is beauty in this world in the present moment, in connecting with others in a kind way, in spreading happiness. It takes so much effort to cause ugliness in this world and relatively little effort to find calm, peace and joy with every breath and every step.

So that might seem dramatic :) But this question is an existential one I wrestle with (not just on the internet, but seeing it in my life and in the world). Why choose to put effort into creating ugliness? I'm sorry for those that spend any of their time this way.

I won't change anything about the way I blog. I still feel my story is a valid one - especially for those looking to AVOID the pitfalls of self-hate and self-harm that I fell into when I started to try to lose weight for all the wrong reasons. I want to push the message that, no matter your past, even if you have struggled with disorder, there is health and happiness for you when you work at it.

So sorry for deleting your message, but it was ugly. Debate and conversation and criticism aren't ugly, but what you said was. I'll continue to allow anonymous commenting but also reserve my right to delete comments that offer nothing BUT ugliness.

Namaste <3

Note to self: don't eat crappy store bought cupcake

I'm writing this because I am struggling at work today. I am extremely turned off by vegetables today (it took me about 15 minutes to eat a half cup of coleslaw because it was so insanely unappetizing and I want to die at the thought of eating my lentil/carrot soup for lunch).

And there are some birthday cupcakes sitting about 10 feet away from me, right in my eye line.

They are really gross looking - small and dry and totally chemical-looking. And they are chocolate cupcakes (I really don't like chocolate cake, prefer vanilla or yellow cake).

But. The sugar. I want it. I'm freaking out about it! I've been sitting here for 45 minutes reasoning with myself that it is totally not worth it. I have some beautiful sea salt dark chocolate at home (our weekly bar!) that I can have tonight. It will be delicious and it is made of real food, not chemicals.

I have to put this down on "paper" to remind myself what I value. Momentary carb/sugar high is NOT on the list of priorities.

But I am struggling a little as I feel queasy and disgusted with my food, haha.

Using the blog as an accountability tool today!! Making me saying no to the cupcake-that-isn't-worth-it a little more real than just in my head. No throwing my hands up in frustration at 3 PM and digging in.

Otherwise things are going well. Still managing my anxiety, it peaks at times but I am getting a hold of it (though it probably won't be till after the ultrasound that I get much TRUE relief). My weight is holding steady around 126 right now (which seems insane because I am eating pretty much constantly! And like I said, I was pretty much a sloth this past weekend compared to normal.). I feel good and healthy if you remove the fatigue from the situation.

Okay :) No cupcake for me. But totally going to eat chocolate tonight after dinner! No question about it. Chris is making beef burgers (got awesome grass fed beef on sale) with Brussels sprouts for dinner. I'm asking for an egg on top of my burger, too (so hungry, duh).

Hm. Definitely pretty much only thinking about eating and sleeping lately. Sorry about that! I'm sure you can understand :) I am making an effort to stay as active as I can right now, but sleep/rest has definitely been a priority.

Namaste <3

2nd Post today: Got Riled Up by a New "Is Paleo Healthy?" Article

Here's the newest "Is Paleo Healthy?" article/debate:

http://www.wsj.com/articles/is-a-paleo-diet-healthy-1427079648

Well, I can say for certain the anti-Paleo stance in this article is ridiculous. First of all, I will reiterate that most people following the Paleo diet today are not doing it under some misguided attempt to "eat like our ancestors" but rather to reduce inflammatory foods (such as processed foods and modern grains) in order to optimize health. This diet is awesome: no processed foods, focus on plant-based foods and high quality proteins. You get your complete nutrition needs met on the Paleo diet if you educate yourself.

But here's the kicker from the anti-Paleo stance:

"So does eating a largely plant-based diet. Research suggests that we can reduce risks for today’s diseases of affluence by eating more foods from plant sources and balancing calorie intake with expenditure. To the extent the paleo diet achieves these goals, it is a reasonable choice.

But food is so much more than bundles of nutrients. What we eat also nourishes us psychologically and culturally. So while a paleo diet isn’t necessarily bad, why bother? I’d be sad to miss all those delicious forbidden foods."

Wow. Just wow.

It's not a bad diet? But you've got the sads because you are missing out on delicious foods (like processed junk?)? That's kind of.... gross.

If people have found that following a Paleo-ish protocol helps them eat that largely plant based diet that helps them stay healthy and live well, what is the problem? Why take a stance against it at all? Let the people who enjoy eating this way eat this way and stop arguing against a perfectly healthy and reasonable way to eat.

I am tired of seeing these types of articles pop up now and again in the news, on Facebook, etc. It's ridiculous at this point. No one is forcing anyone in America to follow this diet, or any diet, it is all personal choice.

And I also disagree with the idea the author has that we will be sad/miss out on delicious foods. I eat really, really delicious food daily while eating Paleo. Sometimes I make really indulgent Paleo foods. And, occasionally, I veer from the Paleo template and eat something made of grains or even processed sugar. In the end, I don't get much more satisfaction (nutritionally, emotionally or socially) from eating Paleo or non-Paleo. My food is my fuel and I like for it to taste good, it doesn't have to get wrapped up in more than that. In fact, making food more important than that is probably the problem....

The takeaway I got from that was they they both agree it is a healthy way to eat. One of them just has a problem with giving up Standard American Diet treats.

Naps? Not Great For Me

I have been fatigued beyond belief the last few days. I managed to get in my steps this weekend, going on walks with Chris and Koda and running errands in the morning, but I would crash by early afternoon and spend the rest of the day in bed. I really haven't felt anything quite like it!

So I gave in yesterday and took a nap around 1 PM yesterday, waking up sometime before 3. It felt great to sleep, but it didn't really help my energy levels - I was still tired and not up for much of anything (I usually clean my house and prep food when I am home on a weekend... I did nothing at all, Chris had to pitch in way more than usual).

However, when it was time for bed around 10 PM - because I wake up at 5:45 for work - I was wide, wide, wide awake. Nothing was putting me down.

So I am not functioning at my best today, working on about 5 hours of sleep. And add to that the general fatigue I've been struggling with anyway? Well, I'm pooped.

Only two and a half weeks left till my doctor's appointment. I'm so excited and nervous! I hope everything is alright and I hope my life gets to change drastically this year :) I didn't know I wanted this so much until it was so real.

Eating was also crazy this weekend. I cannot manage my hunger. It's pretty relentless! I gave in to some sweets cravings, too, which isn't ideal. I packed a really great lunch - turkey burger, sweet potatoes, coleslaw and beets, and a lentil, carrot and sausage soup. I want to keep it tight this week - really make sure I'm eating GOOD fuel, not junky calories!

Drinking a cup of green tea to substitute for my coffee today. I need some type of caffeine to keep awake right now!

Hope your Mondays aren't too tough, friends :)

Waiting for Spring!

My lazy day is going well! Laying around watching TV and planning to make some banana paleo ice cream with Chris in a little while :)

We went on a 5 mile walk down by the river... Spring is on it's way! We can't really walk down there in the winter because they don't clear the trail (so we head into the woods instead).

There are few things I love as much as watching Spring come to Albany. The season of rebirth is so beautiful and I can't help but feel joy as I watch the world wake up - green buds on the trees, the tulips starting to peek out of the earth (Albany is an old Dutch city and loves it's tulips!) and the birds coming back!

Nature is where my spirit gets full :)

A robin in that last photo!

Can NOT wait for my walks in the coming weeks. The days are warming and I'm ready for green green green living things!! I will be much more active then because I hate to be inside when it is so lovely out. I'm already at almost 12k steps for the day, though. Not bad!

Enjoy your weekend everyone <3

My Food Yesterday - incredible hunger!

Well, happy Friday to everyone! I'm pretty excited for my weekend - we have NO plans whatsoever, so I think my days are going to look basically like this: wake up whenever I want, go on a local hike/walk with Chris and Koda, make some fun meals, read my book in bed and catch up on Girls on TV. I'm going to work on my dissertation one of the days, but going to give myself the other day off.

I'm feeling fatigued pretty much constantly right now. Sometimes, at my desk, my vision starts to go because I am so tired. So I have to get up, shake it off, walk around, get the blood flowing just to get back in working order! It's been especially hard dealing with tiredness because I've cut out pretty much all coffee - am down to one 6 ounce cup a day or less.

I took an extra walk after work yesterday, the sun was shining and it was really lovely out - got my steps up to 14k for the day. Exercise really does help stave off the tiredness, because the tiredness is NOT a result of lack of sleep or hard work, it's just hormonal.

Thought I would give you a look at my food for the day yesterday, since it's been a while since I've done this in bullet form:

Breakfast:

• oh yes, you know it - my lactose free cottage cheese with frozen blueberries and sunflower seed butter. I don't know if I will ever tire of this breakfast, I still look forward to it every morning! I do about a serving and a half of the CC, less than half a cup of blueberries, and a tablespoon of the SF seed butter.

Snack:

• about 80 calories of lactose free, organic yogurt with cut up pineapple

Lunch:

• about a cup of turkey/beef chili leftovers - heavy on the tomato, onion and mushrooms!
• about a cup of roasted sweet potatoes
• about a cup of homemade coleslaw topped with roasted beets

Snack:

• banana

Dinner:

• BURGER SALAD - this is probably my favorite dinner right now. We cook burgers (usually turkey or chicken burgers, rarely beef), chop them up and throw them in a salad with romaine, onions, tomatoes, mushrooms and pickles. Chris uses salad dressing but I use a mixture of mustard, mayo and ketchup, which he thinks is really gross... and it does look really, really gross, but I love the taste, haha.

 Snack:

• I was freaking ravenous within an hour of dinner... my body feels crazy right now, like I can't get my hunger under control. I ate some mashed sweet potatoes that we had made for lunch the next day and then Chris decided to make the paleo pumpkin bread we've made a couple times this year so I had a slice of that with butter.

So, yeah, if you notice there, I'm eating pretty heartily. Checked in on my weigh this morning just to make sure I'm not going totally crazy with food - still at 127, everything is copacetic there!

I've just never felt hunger like this before. I'm glad I've been putting in the work to recognize true hunger from emotional hunger... and let me tell you, I have been truly hungry! I'm not going to deprive myself if I feel truly hungry, so I am focusing on vegetables and fruits as well as getting my protein in (the cottage cheese and yogurt are excellent sources for me so that I am not scarfing down a pound of meat a day, yikes). I eat a good amount of fat - nuts, olive oil, coconut oil, avocados and, for an off paleo treat, mayo.

I really like the paleo pumpkin bread because it is mostly made up of almond flour, eggs, and pumpkin. Spices and just a touch of honey give it extra flavor, but it definitely is not a sweet bread. Nuts and eggs and pumpkin are super densely nutritious.

I'm still trying not to eat "sweets" too often - chocolate bars, especially. Those are just kind of wasted calories. I want to inundate my body with lots of nutrients with all this food I am eating :D Sugar isn't really ideal - I am getting plenty of sugar from my fruit, no need to add to it.

So that's where I am. Recognizing that I could eat us out of house and home right now if I let myself. And making sure I am treating this old body of mine well - it needs to be in prime working order! A focus on fruits and veggies will help me not pile on needless weight right now, but will stave off the hunger, keep me energetic and healthy.

It's a tough balance. Especially when I feel like I do (so hungry even as I type this, haha).

Alright, back to work - looking forward to getting home to start a super relaxing weekend!

Namaste <3

Commitment - bringing lunch to work

I made that post a few days ago showing you my lunch Tupperware situation and I realize that I have religiously brought my lunch to work every day since the very first day I started last July!

I feel rather proud of that commitment - to my health and my finances :) 

No matter how busy we were, how late we got home, or if we were running low on groceries - we always were able to put together a satisfying (and mostly paleo!) lunch. This way of eating is important to me and it shows. I stuck true to my promises to myself and to this blog when I started this job - I wouldn't take the easy way out. I'd put the work in and make sure I was eating things that were good for and fueled my body.

I bring this up to let you guys out there know that it takes a decent amount of hard work and commitment (and a fair bit of pre-planning and reliance on good habits!) to live a healthy life-- especially if you have spent any significant amount of time mired in an unhealthy lifestyle.

I had spent ages 10-22 overweight or obese... And it wasn't till my 30s that I got focused on health (I lost weight in my 20s, but I wouldn't call myself healthy by any means). Now, at 33, I'm very set on this path.

I sometimes wish for the convenience of a bought lunch or the pleasure of a junky lunch (especially when I smell the pizza my coworkers bring into the office from the cafeteria or I smell the bacon smells that come up the stairs during breakfast time!)... But I haven't faltered when put to the test. I bring my cooler full of veggies, protein, fruit and nuts daily. It's not even a thought NOT to, it has become such an integral part of my routine. And I know that the food quality in the cafeteria is low, low, low - lots of chemicals and frozen foods, etc.

The only things I've bought from the cafeteria is coffee and hard boiled eggs, hhaha.

On Monday, Chris made a big batch of beef and turkey chili, so we are going to be able to have that for lunches for several days. Because we didn't have a need to have dinner that gave us leftovers last night, Tuesday, in order to have something for lunch on Wednesday, we just made ourselves eggs.

Breakfast for dinner, always a winner! We also had kale, sweet potatoes and avocado. My eggs were stuffed with onion, mushies and tomato:

 

I'm feeling a little off today - I got really hot and dizzy while doing my hair before work and had to sit down for a while. Not much I can do but keep monitoring myself and call the doctor if something really out of the ordinary happens. 

Not doing overtime tomorrow and I am really looking forward to it :) The extra money in the paycheck has been nice (and I've been banking all of it!) but I need a break, for sure.

That's all for now. Namaste <3

Weighing in on weighing in :)

Though it will be for different reasons, I'm still going to check my weight, whatever might happen. If all goes well, I should be hitting around 130 around the end of April (first time in my life I've ever really hoped that I'll gain weight... because that means good things now!). Today I weighed in at 127, so doing well.

The plan moving forward is to weigh in less than usual, just to let myself focus on nutrition and not worry about weight, but to keep weighing in 2 - 3 times a week. I do want to stay on track with doctor recommendations (which seems to be to gain around 3 pounds in the first three months, then about a pound per week after... totaling 25-35 pounds). I want to make sure I'm not undereating or overeating for my body.

A girl in my office, a very normal weighted person, had to get taken out of work 3 months early when she was pregnant and put on bed rest because of really bad gestational diabetes. She gained a lot of weight fast and ate a ton of carby stuff (she routinely had cereal in the morning, a bagel and some sort of snack bar for a snack, and pasta for lunch.. she is in a cubicle across from mine, so I was aware of what she was eating - mostly because I am a freak who can't stand the sound of people chewing so I have to put on headphones when an office-mate eats, haha). Anyway, it was kind of scary and she had a tough delivery.

Seeing something like that makes me determined not to over-eat or eat junk at this point. I want this potential little life to have the best nutrition and start it can. Quality of food seems even more important, now, too. I am really focused on getting chemicals/hormones/antibiotics/preservatives out of my diet.

I'm only talking about this because my blog is a health and wellness and weight-maintenance blog. In general, during my hour-to-hour normal life, I just try not to think about it. Because I have created such good habits for my physical health, it's really a non-issue. Just continue to do what I've always done.... just with a sense that it is ever more important, now :)

Not thinking about it is the status-quo for me, though. I need to get confirmation that all is well at my doctor's appointment in a few weeks before I really let myself believe this is all going to happen!

I tend to be negative and a worrier and to expect the worst. So if I just don't think on it too much, then I won't get myself all worked up. Focusing on my dissertation, getting the floors renovated at home, spending time with my family (husband and pets!), and prepping for the many weddings/bridal showers/bachelorette parties coming up.

So that's where I am - in a good place, doing what I can to mitigate the craziness that is my mind, and trying to enjoy each day! I am going over to a friend's house after I finish up a little schoolwork tonight to watch the premiere of Community, so I am looking forward to a fun evening.

Have a great day, friends!